(Top) Charlie, Frederick and Sophie Wehlen
jumping into Lake Zurich, smelling roses
hugging bomb
Charlie making Vroom vroom sounds
Peter and his fans
Thursday, June 30, 2011
photos
(Top) Charlie, Frederick and Sophie Wehlen
jumping into Lake Zurich, smelling roses
hugging bomb
Charlie making Vroom vroom sounds
Peter and his fans
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Reid's Palace Hotel
There has been some confusion about Charlie's injury. He did not break anything, but put a large gash in his leg which required two stitches. Andrew has a very funny picture of him in the room; perhaps I can prevail upon him to send it to all of Charlie's fans. Above is photo taken after he got out: Notfall of course is emergency room.
The hotel here in Madeira as I have said is a throw back...some Englishman Reid-started it, and Churchill among others came round in the day. There is high tea and tea dances and more than a whiff of the glory days of Empire. It is huge, with long winding hallways filled with pianos and chintz furniture. It looks like the Burlingame club upstairs, but larger with more mysterious dead ends. The cool part is, it is built on a cliff-Madeira is very cliffy and the water can be very rough. Andrew says there is a surf break here and we intend to check it out.
Our first night we rushed down past the pools and assorted tourists to the lounge chairs that hover just above the crashing waves. It is too cool...there is a pool built into the cliff that is filled with the sea water...waves crash into it. There are also three meter and five meter boards (depending on the tide...high tide, they are a lot lower). So Frederick was keen to get in and we descend the ladder or jump in depending on who you are (me and F respectively) but then once in, we discover that the swell is much bigger than it looked from above. There is also a huge current that has brought hero Thomas rather far from us. So F and I try to swim and it is simply impossible. We are kind of laughing, like people do who are debating whether or not to panic...and then we see these ropes hanging in front of us..in various lengths. When we saw them before, we thought they were toys...alas no. They are there so you can catch yourself before the water pushes you against the jagged rocks. Fun! F and I grab on and are pushed here and there with the waves, I am wondering how in the hell I will get to the ladder in a dignified manner and if not, how this will affect dinner. Eva and Claus are above us wringing hands, as is an alarmed life guard who tells us then about the red flag. He is not that psyched. So we swing swing...until thomas swims over and talks us in. And then in typical Thomas fashion ...he and Frederick jump in again because he does not want F to leave the water in a nervous state. I decline.
But it is wonderful wonderful to plop on a chair and have all this crashing around you. Born by the ocean people sleep really well to that sound and I am sleeping all the time-late in the morning and again on the lounge chair.
There are more lizards than I have ever seen in my life...Charlie would have enjoyed. And the lunch buffet, while not Sardinia level, is plenty good. Big ol dessert table...with chocolate mousse that is the most insane thing I have ever had. Thomas finds it too over the top. When a German Protestant tells you a bed is too soft, or mousse is too "chocolatey" you know you have hit pay dirt. I intend to meet the man who made it. And I will be wearing perfume.
Eva is giving Frederick German lessons every day in her room. He has to read to her, and then write a dictation. I really threw him under the bus on that one..."He would love that Eva!!!" and then I go to the spa. I am not proud of this...but she is a frustrated elementary school teacher so what the hell.
It goes without saying we miss Charlie. For one, Thomas and I are playing just a tad more ping pong than we would otherwise; Most importantly fewer people walk up to us with gifts. It is not uncommon when one sits with Charlie for people to come by, their hands filled with offerings, like he is some mafia don. Seriously...a man gave him a fist full of vouchers on the QM2 for no reason that anyone can discern. He kept calling them voy-(rhymes with Joy) chers...which was annoying to his cousin who did not get any, even though he knew how to pronounce them.
Check out the new "Photos" entry for some London ones...
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Notfall
Yes, indeed we made a trip to the emergency ward. We were on our way to an indoor pool with very high diving boards: five meter, 7.5 meter and lord help me- 10. (multiply all by 3 to get to feet people) But Thomas thinks it is safe, and F wanted to try the 7.5 for the first time. Charlie was of course all in. But before we could make it to the pool, he crashed into a stone bench he and F were leaping over. In come the Swiss bademeisters and very officially and calmly tell us we need to go to the Spital.
Andrew was not amused. We were treated well but then given the horrible news that Charlie could not swim basically until he left the country.
Eva's reaction was so sympathetic. Oh the poor thing!!! So unfair. Just so unfair!! (as if the bench hit him) No swimming??!!! Oh he must come to Madeira with us! Did you say he wanted a new soccer jersey? (andrew did not want to cough up the three digit amount)...I will get him one!!
Really it is clear to me now that Charlie has the right instinct in not worrying at all if he can't find a job. Between the loyalty and admiration he inspires from strangers, and his skill at stealing bagels, he will be fine.
It really was funny to watch this meeting of hearts and minds between Charlie and the Wehlens. I was a bit worried he would throw something and hit a painting. But instead he would wander up and say (again in that incredible voice) How much does this cost Aunt Ellie!!!??????? And yes at first blush many of the principals the Wehlens hold dear, like eating fruit or wearing underwear are anathema to Charles. But he is just so enthusiastic about everything-ping pong, and food and life and most endearing of all- about the German language. He is totally committed to learning it so he and F can chat secretly. I bought him a kids' book called Easy German and he and F would wander up and down the street, chatting in the restaurant, every moment they did not have a paddle in their hands, practicing German sentences. Who can resist a kid like that?
People like to say Germans do not have a sense of humor; this of course could not be further from the truth. They just don't mock themselves to get a laugh. But they are more than happy to laugh while you mock yourself. And charlie stories just killed them. They could not keep the muesli down.
Frederick is presently in his grandparents room for a German lesson with Eva. I am afraid we threw him under the bus on that one. She bought him a lot of very nice books and he goes to her room and has to read them aloud. He finds this very embarrassing-reading to a grown up. But Eva is a frustrated elementary school teacher and wants her mitts on him. Plus then thomas and i go to the gym. Frederick is in this huge room all alone-not connected to us and I think he is loving it....thank God Charlie couldn't come because the mini bar and on-demand-movie bill would have been huge.
Andrew was not amused. We were treated well but then given the horrible news that Charlie could not swim basically until he left the country.
Eva's reaction was so sympathetic. Oh the poor thing!!! So unfair. Just so unfair!! (as if the bench hit him) No swimming??!!! Oh he must come to Madeira with us! Did you say he wanted a new soccer jersey? (andrew did not want to cough up the three digit amount)...I will get him one!!
Really it is clear to me now that Charlie has the right instinct in not worrying at all if he can't find a job. Between the loyalty and admiration he inspires from strangers, and his skill at stealing bagels, he will be fine.
It really was funny to watch this meeting of hearts and minds between Charlie and the Wehlens. I was a bit worried he would throw something and hit a painting. But instead he would wander up and say (again in that incredible voice) How much does this cost Aunt Ellie!!!??????? And yes at first blush many of the principals the Wehlens hold dear, like eating fruit or wearing underwear are anathema to Charles. But he is just so enthusiastic about everything-ping pong, and food and life and most endearing of all- about the German language. He is totally committed to learning it so he and F can chat secretly. I bought him a kids' book called Easy German and he and F would wander up and down the street, chatting in the restaurant, every moment they did not have a paddle in their hands, practicing German sentences. Who can resist a kid like that?
People like to say Germans do not have a sense of humor; this of course could not be further from the truth. They just don't mock themselves to get a laugh. But they are more than happy to laugh while you mock yourself. And charlie stories just killed them. They could not keep the muesli down.
Frederick is presently in his grandparents room for a German lesson with Eva. I am afraid we threw him under the bus on that one. She bought him a lot of very nice books and he goes to her room and has to read them aloud. He finds this very embarrassing-reading to a grown up. But Eva is a frustrated elementary school teacher and wants her mitts on him. Plus then thomas and i go to the gym. Frederick is in this huge room all alone-not connected to us and I think he is loving it....thank God Charlie couldn't come because the mini bar and on-demand-movie bill would have been huge.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Last Day of QM2/ Chu Mu takes on Land
I am writing to you from the Reid's Palace Hotel in Madeira. Ain't bad. We are on cliffs over looking the Ocean, with port wine as far as the eye can see.
But I will have to tell you about the last night on the ol ship.. it was the happiest ever, (usually the last night we fall into mini Teutonic depressions) due to us laughing at Chu Mu. We had the usual round of toasts and Crepes and put the children to bed. As we walked out of their room for a last walk around the deck, we heard music coming from our favorite bar far down the hall. And the reason it was notable was because, after many nights of talking about my father and his absence, we hear none other than Scott Joplin drifting towards us, compelling me to rush over to it. I will have to look up which song it was, but it was a slow, sad, lovely one. For the non initiated, Charles Adams Brigham loved Scott Joplin, and played it on 8 track tapes in his big American cars when we went for evening drives on summer vacation. For his children it is the soundtrack to, if not his soul, then much of his personality.
Writing about it now of course it doesn't seem significant, but it was then. Nearly crushed me...because it was so clear he had something to say about missing out, or how much orange juice goes into Crepes Suzette..who knows. But I am fairly certain he wants to say hello.
Anyway, back to london. Charlie was ecstatic to see Andrew and talked his ear off, at least until we saw Peter, and then Charlie, Peter and Frederick were inseparable until we left for Switzerland. They do not leave his Mary Poppins like side..their little faces as close to his as possible, spouting anything they can that might make him laugh as hard as he makes them laugh.
Best part was I learned that not only is master charlie a great foodie in the making, but he smells the roses. Literally. I will post pictures of his nose crammed into every rose, lilac bush, rosemary bud he saw. At one point Frederick was hugging a missile and Charlie was grinding up rosemary to show me how it increased the smell. Good news is a bit of this rubbed of on F, who asked me to buy him a rose so he could carry it around smelling it.
The next edition will be devoted to Charlie hitting, and conquering Switzerland. Truly a sight to see. The Wehlens fell head over heels in love with him. (I believe he might be in the will). They noted he is energetic, but they find him utterly charming. Eva described the misstep that landed him in the emergency room (more on that later) as a cruel and unjust turn of fate. She even took a stab at blaming Frederick for not protecting Charlie from the bench that he was jumping on. At one point Eva was looking at the children playing outside the window of the restaurant we were in and said: He must give his mother a lot of joy. (long pause)
And a lot of worry.
Yes I said, yes he does.
Below are Frederick's thoughts:
Hello again! The last day on the boat was very sad. All I could think of was how sad it was to be leaving this magnificent liner. All we did that day was play ping pong and eat. Anyway, in London we saw Peter and he started yelling to me and Charlie(This is Frederick speaking, sorry for the inconvenience!)when he opened the door to his office. Now, Switzerland: the Alps in the background and small hills and lakes in the foreground. Sadly, trying to conquer this incredible land injured him. This meant he could go no further in his quest to attack the ten meter board.
Though I, went off the 7.5 meter, nobody even went up to the ten because of Charlie's injury.
The story of Chu Mu's deep gash went like this: We were in the kids changing room and no one else was with us because they were all in there respective changing rooms. We were jumping around from bench to bench at the Erlicon( a swimming pool with a ten meter board). Suddenly I heard a yelp from behind me and I turned around to see Charlie sitting on the bench. He had a deep gash in his knee. He looked a it and screamed so loud that the whole pool could hear it. I called Andrew. When he came in he just sat there. My mother came in. A few minutes later some pool attendants came in. They said it was deep and that he had to go to the hospital. When they asked him what had happened he said that he slammed his knee on one of the stone benches.
They bandaged him and called my father. He came 5 minutes later and brought us to the emergency room where Charlie got 2 stitches. He is not allowed to swim for 3 days.
But I will have to tell you about the last night on the ol ship.. it was the happiest ever, (usually the last night we fall into mini Teutonic depressions) due to us laughing at Chu Mu. We had the usual round of toasts and Crepes and put the children to bed. As we walked out of their room for a last walk around the deck, we heard music coming from our favorite bar far down the hall. And the reason it was notable was because, after many nights of talking about my father and his absence, we hear none other than Scott Joplin drifting towards us, compelling me to rush over to it. I will have to look up which song it was, but it was a slow, sad, lovely one. For the non initiated, Charles Adams Brigham loved Scott Joplin, and played it on 8 track tapes in his big American cars when we went for evening drives on summer vacation. For his children it is the soundtrack to, if not his soul, then much of his personality.
Writing about it now of course it doesn't seem significant, but it was then. Nearly crushed me...because it was so clear he had something to say about missing out, or how much orange juice goes into Crepes Suzette..who knows. But I am fairly certain he wants to say hello.
Anyway, back to london. Charlie was ecstatic to see Andrew and talked his ear off, at least until we saw Peter, and then Charlie, Peter and Frederick were inseparable until we left for Switzerland. They do not leave his Mary Poppins like side..their little faces as close to his as possible, spouting anything they can that might make him laugh as hard as he makes them laugh.
Best part was I learned that not only is master charlie a great foodie in the making, but he smells the roses. Literally. I will post pictures of his nose crammed into every rose, lilac bush, rosemary bud he saw. At one point Frederick was hugging a missile and Charlie was grinding up rosemary to show me how it increased the smell. Good news is a bit of this rubbed of on F, who asked me to buy him a rose so he could carry it around smelling it.
The next edition will be devoted to Charlie hitting, and conquering Switzerland. Truly a sight to see. The Wehlens fell head over heels in love with him. (I believe he might be in the will). They noted he is energetic, but they find him utterly charming. Eva described the misstep that landed him in the emergency room (more on that later) as a cruel and unjust turn of fate. She even took a stab at blaming Frederick for not protecting Charlie from the bench that he was jumping on. At one point Eva was looking at the children playing outside the window of the restaurant we were in and said: He must give his mother a lot of joy. (long pause)
And a lot of worry.
Yes I said, yes he does.
Below are Frederick's thoughts:
Hello again! The last day on the boat was very sad. All I could think of was how sad it was to be leaving this magnificent liner. All we did that day was play ping pong and eat. Anyway, in London we saw Peter and he started yelling to me and Charlie(This is Frederick speaking, sorry for the inconvenience!)when he opened the door to his office. Now, Switzerland: the Alps in the background and small hills and lakes in the foreground. Sadly, trying to conquer this incredible land injured him. This meant he could go no further in his quest to attack the ten meter board.
Though I, went off the 7.5 meter, nobody even went up to the ten because of Charlie's injury.
The story of Chu Mu's deep gash went like this: We were in the kids changing room and no one else was with us because they were all in there respective changing rooms. We were jumping around from bench to bench at the Erlicon( a swimming pool with a ten meter board). Suddenly I heard a yelp from behind me and I turned around to see Charlie sitting on the bench. He had a deep gash in his knee. He looked a it and screamed so loud that the whole pool could hear it. I called Andrew. When he came in he just sat there. My mother came in. A few minutes later some pool attendants came in. They said it was deep and that he had to go to the hospital. When they asked him what had happened he said that he slammed his knee on one of the stone benches.
They bandaged him and called my father. He came 5 minutes later and brought us to the emergency room where Charlie got 2 stitches. He is not allowed to swim for 3 days.
Friday, June 17, 2011
More to some soon!
First, I apologize about the screw up of the pictures...it is sometimes hard to know which pictures are being uploaded.( I did not intend to send 43 identical pictures of myself !!). I will fix it.
We are now in London and the re union with Charlie and Andrew was so very sweet. Charlie was beside himself with happiness. The last night on the ship was really fun: no one slept well, we were kicked off early, we were miserable in freezing London at first, but are doing better now.
Full wrap up with photos soon.
xo
We are now in London and the re union with Charlie and Andrew was so very sweet. Charlie was beside himself with happiness. The last night on the ship was really fun: no one slept well, we were kicked off early, we were miserable in freezing London at first, but are doing better now.
Full wrap up with photos soon.
xo
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Last Day
As soon as his host or hostess shuts down the bar or turns off the coffeepot, a gentleman knows it is time to go home.
(A Gentleman at the table)
Handsome Turk wants to give us his private email. That is the good news. The bad news is: he does this because he finds it very hard to remember people. We are gold level…and the next level is platinum which marks 150 days on the ship; we have logged 28. (He told us that some people take it 4 times a year- Beats flying I guess.)
Boys met the captain. Charlie, true to form, really got into the whole spirit of free prawns. (See photo.) Frederick nervously drank his free, watered down orange juice.
Their march towards world domination wobbled when, in one day Thomas came in second (again) in a golf tournament, and the boys lost in ping pong to people in girdles.
Charlie took extra time with some aging champion to work on a few of his moves. He told me last night he wished the cruise would last four more days!!!!
Today we have seen the planetarium show on the search for extra-terrestrial life and had lunch.
The boys have compiled a list of all they have learned on board:
Shirley temples come from the wine guy, bread rolls come from the waiter. That should get you through til breakfast. (what is the wine guy's name, Charlie? I don't know, I just know he is French).
Vega is the brightest star in our Galaxy. But there are a lot of planets that are brighter.
Uranus is a gassy giant. (Charlie actually learned this in school, but it makes us laugh every time. Even Thomas. )
Frederick needs calories more often with Charlie around. When Charlie says Vidi is in a mood, (inside Brigham joke) that is the signal for the banana. Then they go back to paddle tennis.
Two beeps signals the elevator is going down.
The proper slice serve in ping pong.
Do not underestimate the elderly.
There are three full service fro yo stations here. If one is closed, do not panic.
My favorite part has been eavesdropping on their conversations. Charlie has his life planned out: he will move to NYC, make some money, then move the Paris, and after a "solitary life" will marry a French woman. Frederick thinks he wants to be a naval architect. All other details are vague.
If he were a "ho bo" Charlie would live near a bagel shop. I would look for a job says Frederick. What if you couldn't find one? asks Charlie. I would keep looking. They go back and forth- frederick refusing to entertain the possibility that no job is available. Charlie's back up plan is to steal bagels. Then you would go to jail when the police come says Frederick. I know that says Charlie, but then when I got out I would still go back (to the life of bagel crime).
Their little faces are still so cute to me, I want to kiss them like they are babies. But I do not.
Every year I think of CAB and how he would have loved this...all this open ocean. And how he would have delighted in these children, as Thomas and I do. One evening Frederick took off down the hallway to get a head start on his big cousin-tearing away at full speed. Charlie ran after him, waving his arms and yelling in that crazy high angel voice of his: FEDDIE!!!! they crashed into and past a Filipino server, and took a sharp left out of view. Thomas and I and the gentle Filipino laughed, because it is impossible not to.
And I thought to myself- My father missed things by going early. He missed this little hallway run, and I am sorry for that.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Wide World of Sports
Far Left CMB following the director around, angling for a good draw; bathrobe man; bathrobe man's friends react to CMB's shot.As reported, the boys had tough draws in the table tennis tournament and did not last long. Charlie came running up to me: Aunt Ellie!!!!! Frederick has to play Sallly!!!! Sally, a vixen like 55 year old in black velour track, suit is apparently very good. Me, I can’t see the difference between anything below the Chinese people …ya got the Chinese, and then the rest of us. Somehow Frederick won. I was not there to see it, so I cannot offer commentary. Lord Chu Mus’s match was funny though. His opponent was a 20 something who had a hangover and was in his bathrobe. (post massage perhaps? ) anyway I heard him talking to his friends before. He was nervous. But then he shows up to a tournament of this caliber in a bathrobe. The match was pretty close. At one point Charlie channeled some Asian table tennis god and whipped a forehand winner ,and all his friend hooted and laughed. Getting beaten by a kid!!!! Well he was never the same after that.
Next round Frederick lost to someone who looked like a cross between Hannibal Lector and Dr. Mengele. Not that we are bitter about it.
Frederick is now blogging about the table tennis tournament.
Well, we got to the second round but then got our you know whats whipped. That’s about it.
In other sports news Thomas came in second (got a certificate!!!) in a golf contest. The children gathered round, but the air was heavy with the question of who actually won. They were discreet: Frederick looked at his feet and Charlie finally ended the silence with Good job uncle Thomas!!! Bit later they asked me what happened. Apparently some guy used a 6 iron to Thomas’ 9. When Charlie heard that, (the kid has never played golf) he seemed relieved. OH!!!!!! That’s what happened.
And for the sports wrap up…..
Almost lost some old lady at the gym. She messed up on the treadmill and was floating with her legs back behind her, bit like a sail. All the while though she was silent. Like she was just waiting for it to end on its own. And the worst part was her companion and others just stood there next to her. I was trying to get off of my treadmill, but was tangled in my ipod..and yelling loudly over my music: HELP HER!!!! God these people have no fast twitch muscles. No ability to react. As I say every year: the lifeboats will be ours for the taking.
Did I mention that Handsome Turk just smiled when I asked him if anyone had ever been murdered on the ship?
Toenails are now pink. Going to meet the Captain. Children love their butler. (Lord Chu Mu is especially good at finding uses for her: Hey Excuse me!!! Can you set up the X box!!!!????)
Today there was a wee bit of romance. A roving band of cousins (girls) approached our heros at their usual spot on the paddle tennis court and started to pelt balls at them. Charlie got into the spirit immediately (f is a bit slower to grasp protocol in these cases) and pelted one hard to the head. The girls were apparently “impressed” according to Charlie, with the speed with which the boys could catch the balls and throw them back. I do not have the heart to tell them of the world of faux compliments from roving bands of girls.
We love sitting aft in the evenings in the hot tub. It is like watching a movie: wild skies and seas, dolphins, rain, sun, wind, blue, black, gray; cool heads and warm bodies-and a moment so satisfying that not even coffee or champagne or conversation could improve it.
Busy day today. Sadly, only one formal night and one informal away from dreaded land.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Dr Ruth
I purposely came late because I was worried no one would show up and she and I would have to have a heart to heart- some horrible private lesson. Charlie wanted to come along-he loves laughing at old people like I do, but I explained that the “where do babies come from” part would not come up. This would be gross.
It was silly to worry, because it was packed. She is 4 foot 7 inches and speaks like Kissinger. I was the youngest in the theater by a long shot; I do not take any pride in this, but it seems germane.
The questions were in a box but the key had not been found yet, so Dr. Ruth offered that the first person to ask a question in front of everyone, and not anonymously, would get a free copy of her book: Sex for dummies. The details of this deal were still fuzzy to the woman who was handed the microphone. You want me to ask in front of everyone?! Yes. For a free book. (better be one hell of a book).
And she says, well my husband isn’t here, so I will just go for it. And proceeds to ask a big ol question about oral sex. Thank God I could not see her, because if it had been the paddle tennis lady, I would have lost it. There is almost nothing about these floating old people that I do not find funny. I have gotten Charlie into the spirit of it: he will come down and report how another old person has crushed him in ping pong. I tell him he has got to make them run. Their slices are good, but they are slow. Yea Aunt Ellie!! They don’t have anything else to do-they play ping pong 24/7 !!!! I am trying to harden the children against them because they beat us out for tickets, places in line, good seats. Everything. They are a sly foe, No reason to be sentimental about it.
Dr Ruth basically says one of a three things to every question: give it a try, see a therapist immediately, or I do not know. Occasionally she is very funny. To the question: My wife is always the dominant one in the bedroom, Dr Ruth, how can I regain my man hood and call the shots? She replies: You are a lucky man. Shut up and enjoy. Shutting up is apparently a very important tool in love-making. For example she recommends it when one is fantasizing about an ex girlfriend/boyfriend when one is with one’s spouse. (imagine Kissinger’s voice here) You must shut your mouth!!!! Shut it!!!
Or this one: Dr Ruth, my wife always wants the lights off during sex. I find her beautiful and want to see her. What should I do?
Compliment her every hour, and buy her a big diamond necklace with the agreement she will keep the lights on.
The Dr. is extremely practical-as with her advice to the woman who wanted to go to church but did not like driving herself. Dr. Ruth worked out a Kissinger-like deal where the wife got a ride to church, and he got some action Sunday night. I am not sure how I feel about this. But Quid pro Quo she is all for. That and quickies.-(quick is better than none at all).
She just turned 83.
She just turned 83.
Must run. The boys are playing in the ping pong tournament which they will lose. (Some kid is ranked and some old guy whips their asses every day) Charlie is going to try to beat the kid by injuring him, and I feel this warrants some interference.
This is now the next day.......
Today, we have a full plate: paddle tournament, ping pong tournament, space movie/lecture, meet the captain. Seas are rolling a lot from the side. Last night, the children went to the kids' pizza night and we got a really good table upgrade from handsome Turk..by the water with wild skies. He regaled us (turns out he is very funny) with stories of love and death on the sea. Apparently the English never miss a meal-never seasick if it means skipping free food- and very often with old people when one keels over dead, the other stays on. Really, one woman's husband was taken off (not alive mind you) via helicopter and she was dancing the next night. Such is the power of this ship.
Frederick's excitement over the ship-how many funnels, how long, how heavy, the displacement etc is matched by Charlie's excitement over animal planet. He is ecstatically watching the show narrated by some English professor. The little turtles are running for the sea, and he is urging them on. COME ON!!!!!! RUN!!!! oh I can't watch!!! This is like a HORROR movie!!!!
Both boys went down in bitter defeat yesterday in the second round of table tennis. Charlie says he won't play today. But he will. The siren call from the green table is too strong.
Monday, June 13, 2011
The Competition
On the above left is the team our boys vanquished in the finals. On the above right is our blue haired nemesis. Check out her steely gaze.
Tomorrow they will meet again.
Below is blog on the tournament.
Special Paddle Tennis Edition
You might have heard the news already over the wire, but yes here is confirmation that team Brigham/Wehlen won the tournament. Sweet talked them into the draw, despite the looks of the skeptical lesbian; did not have to tell the Russian boarding school canard, and then retreated to my deck chair. First match they crushed them 16 to 5 I believe. Just crushed the old people with acts of athleticism never before seen on this ship. Frederick, the veteran of four cruises now and Charles (Lord Chu Mu ) his highly athletic, enthusiastic, sidekick. Charlie was nervous in the warm-up. He had also somehow come late . Frederick was pacing in front of the courts like a tiger (where IS he??!!) I was admiring my new orange toenails. Charlie finally appeared with his usual bang, while panting I got really really lost!!!!!
The ship was rolling quite a bit, and that plus nerves lead to some bad hits. Charlie asked the judge if they could warm up a bit more for the match. This confused the assembled because they were playing canasta later and could not take all day.
Frederick wants to tell the story of the finals match:
The judge asked us right or left. I said right and she held up her cell phone in her left. The match started with them serving. After about 3 minutes, it was 9-2 for the opposition. I looked over and saw that Lord Chu Mu was at the point of crying ( Of the many things that are exaggerations on this blog, this one is not). “Don’t cry” I said. He managed to stop. After that, things got better. We got the next 5 points. About 1 minute after the score was 7-13 for the opposition. Soon it was 12-15, then 13-15, after that it was14-15 and then we managed to tie it at 15-15. We had to win by 2. We won the next point. They won it after.
16-16. We won the next point and the others double faulted. Now the ending was kind of boring so I can tell you Charlie’s fake version. He wrote it in an e-mail (with my mother) to Theo:
Dearest Theodore,
How it pains me to see your jealousy. First of all, I do not have a girlfriend, because as I am playing BLOODY ping pong…that is when I am not winning paddle tennis tournaments against old people. Today me and Frederick won the tournament on the last point an old lady served an underhand serve, and I hit it very hard, right at her and she flew against the back wall. I think I hurt her (she was approximately 90). We are going to play another tournament tomorrow. Why is everything so royal, you might ask? As it happens, this ship is English. Look it up, you barbarian. I must go soon to swim, go to the planetarium, hot tub and watch a movie. I also must play a little more ping pong.
Sincerely,
Lord Chu Mu
Remember, this e-mail was real but the paddle tennis story in it was not.
Charlie seems to have just finished his book so he is singing.
Ellie again. Yes the comedy was unreal-all this tension and admiration focused on a tiny astro turf court in the middle of the Atlantic. Thomas had given them a pep talk before. He told them they were representing the family. So we WIN!!!? Charlie says. No, I mean you must be polite to the other team and to each other. But then of course the East German coach in Thomas comes out: Charlie you take the forehand side, Frederick backhand. Charlie will try not to ball hog (sorry Feddie!!!) and Frederick will try to lighten the hell up and cease and desist with his patented and horrible slice two handed backhand. Now this is important: you will encounter cheating. Little faces look sad. So then we cheat back at them, right Uncle Thomas!!?? No Charlie, you will let it go. You will let it go.
Turns out this match was watched by a line judge AND a ref to call the score while simultaneously offering encouragement and commentary. (great shot Charles!) I of course could not watch, it made me laugh so hard: fist pumping in the face of a woman in a floral dress and orthopedic shoes. The tournament was such a hit in fact that the lesbian is having another one tomorrow. Charlie who is now presented with a decaf cappuccino and a bowl of carrots (Your usual Sir) at breakfast is eating egg white omelets in preparation.
Ping Pong tournament this afternoon. Waves are big. Fro'Yo wherever we look. All our needs are met.
The ship was rolling quite a bit, and that plus nerves lead to some bad hits. Charlie asked the judge if they could warm up a bit more for the match. This confused the assembled because they were playing canasta later and could not take all day.
Frederick wants to tell the story of the finals match:
The judge asked us right or left. I said right and she held up her cell phone in her left. The match started with them serving. After about 3 minutes, it was 9-2 for the opposition. I looked over and saw that Lord Chu Mu was at the point of crying ( Of the many things that are exaggerations on this blog, this one is not). “Don’t cry” I said. He managed to stop. After that, things got better. We got the next 5 points. About 1 minute after the score was 7-13 for the opposition. Soon it was 12-15, then 13-15, after that it was14-15 and then we managed to tie it at 15-15. We had to win by 2. We won the next point. They won it after.
16-16. We won the next point and the others double faulted. Now the ending was kind of boring so I can tell you Charlie’s fake version. He wrote it in an e-mail (with my mother) to Theo:
Dearest Theodore,
How it pains me to see your jealousy. First of all, I do not have a girlfriend, because as I am playing BLOODY ping pong…that is when I am not winning paddle tennis tournaments against old people. Today me and Frederick won the tournament on the last point an old lady served an underhand serve, and I hit it very hard, right at her and she flew against the back wall. I think I hurt her (she was approximately 90). We are going to play another tournament tomorrow. Why is everything so royal, you might ask? As it happens, this ship is English. Look it up, you barbarian. I must go soon to swim, go to the planetarium, hot tub and watch a movie. I also must play a little more ping pong.
Sincerely,
Lord Chu Mu
Remember, this e-mail was real but the paddle tennis story in it was not.
Charlie seems to have just finished his book so he is singing.
Ellie again. Yes the comedy was unreal-all this tension and admiration focused on a tiny astro turf court in the middle of the Atlantic. Thomas had given them a pep talk before. He told them they were representing the family. So we WIN!!!? Charlie says. No, I mean you must be polite to the other team and to each other. But then of course the East German coach in Thomas comes out: Charlie you take the forehand side, Frederick backhand. Charlie will try not to ball hog (sorry Feddie!!!) and Frederick will try to lighten the hell up and cease and desist with his patented and horrible slice two handed backhand. Now this is important: you will encounter cheating. Little faces look sad. So then we cheat back at them, right Uncle Thomas!!?? No Charlie, you will let it go. You will let it go.
Turns out this match was watched by a line judge AND a ref to call the score while simultaneously offering encouragement and commentary. (great shot Charles!) I of course could not watch, it made me laugh so hard: fist pumping in the face of a woman in a floral dress and orthopedic shoes. The tournament was such a hit in fact that the lesbian is having another one tomorrow. Charlie who is now presented with a decaf cappuccino and a bowl of carrots (Your usual Sir) at breakfast is eating egg white omelets in preparation.
Ping Pong tournament this afternoon. Waves are big. Fro'Yo wherever we look. All our needs are met.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
caviar, crepe suzette, paddle tennis
"If another diner asks to sample a gentleman’s food and the gentleman is willing to oblige, he may respond by asking his fellow diner to lend the gentleman his or her fork and bread plate, so the gentleman can offer a couple of mouthfuls of the requested dish".
A Gentleman at the Table, Bridges/Curtis
This is Frederick blogging:
Today we woke up in the morning to see that the time had not yet been changed.
This was very confusing for my father who went down to breakfast early and found that
almost no one was there even though he thought it was 9:30. As it turned out it was
only 8:30. At the zone Charlie was signaling to me that he wanted to get out of there.
Day 2…first must discuss Day one
Woke to sun and excitement and flat seas. I am happy to report that as I write this on Sunday morning there are much bigger whitecaps, and we are rolling nicely.
Yesterday was a lot of ping pong. The wind came from the bow, so they closed the top portion where the paddle tennis courts are.
I rushed from a jog to a pedicure to lunch to a facial to tea ..so busy. No time for the lecture.
Charlie is not that sure about the kids zone. I keep telling him, it gets really fun and that is where the girls are. But he is skeptical. He cleared the hot tub, when (even though we got him new swim trunks in New York) he sat with legs spread on the edge of the tub with a hole in the crotch of his old trunks. “I think they saw my hole Uncle Thomas!!! Thomas: I think they saw more than that. Ellie: What did they do then Charlie? Charlie: They just left! Like-, hey! Where are you going? I was in the middle of a story!
When we got back last night, buzzed from Shirley Temples and vodka (one for him, one for me) he wanted to write his friend Theo. Great thing about CMB is he will take my comic advice, whereas my kid won’t. This is what we wrote together:
Dearest Theodore:
I just had caviar. It was the best on the Queen Mary. Me and Frederick are entering a paddle tennis tournament and we have matching uniforms...(I heart new york t shirts).
I might enter a table tennis tournament. I am getting really good at spiking now. I am also very modest.
Right now it is the first day on the Queen Mary. We play a bit of X box.
I seem to talk in my sleep a lot. There are five pools on the Queen Mary 2.
I get free cokes and fro yo. also beef tenderloin.
this is totally awesome. there are lots of pretty girls that i ignore because i am always playing bloody ping pong (the British swear word is bloody)
Sincerely Yours
Master Charles McCune Brigham
next time you see me, please call me master Charles as the captain does.
Tally Ho.
How funny is that??!! Kills me that kid.
The night had been formal, so the kids went to town: ties, socks, the works. Charlie has got it down: semi formal vs formal, ask the sommelier (“that wine guy” ) for your Shirley temple, but not for bread, Check check. Check.
He is a great orderer. Every single morning he has eggs benedict. I mean; if you only had one breakfast left to eat in your life, would you really order pancakes? For dinner he ordered something with caviar on it (all food is included fear not!) and steak. Frederick: tuna tartae, steak. We have had to put the five servings of fruit and veggies rule into effect. So Charlie has orange juice and carrots with his eggs.
At dinner we had pre ordered crepe suzette. I told them it was their mutual grandfather’s favorite, and it offered the huge advantage of having flames at your table. Real crowd pleaser. Earlier in the evening, we had been giving toasts: to the sea, to ships, to steak at sea …we were toasting everything. And then Frederick raises his Shirley Temple ("If a gentleman chooses to offer a toast, he keeps it brief, tasteful and to the point") and says:
To Charlie: a great cousin who is not seasick or homesick. And it really kind of choked me up…it reminded me of Ute Bowes when she toasts. Big ol loyal German hearts: when they love you, they love you.
Then come the crepes. Such a Charlie (Adams) Brigham dessert- all those dangerous flames and alcohol…and I tell you, then I got really choked up, looking at these two children eating crepe suzette in honor of a man they never knew, but who binds them. I told them forever more this would be their dessert; they could meet all over the world, if this was on the menu, they would have it.
They would always have crepe suzette. Ok boys?
Ok Aunt Ellie! I want to be bonded every day!! And then Charlie Brigham the second drops his head and licks his plate-every last bit.
So think good thoughts at 1 30 –middle of Atlantic time…it is the paddle tennis tournament. The boys are beyond excited. They actually laid out their uniforms last night. But we are a little worried they will not be allowed to be a team. Charlie said they should tell people they are brothers but he, Charlie, is at boarding school in Russia and so they do not see each other very often.
Frederick put his head in his hands, nearly overcome with how many problems there are with this plan. (How the hell are we going to learn Russian before 1 30 Charlie??!!) I think they compromised on an English school that is very obscure…for geniuses. Top secret.
A Gentleman at the Table, Bridges/Curtis
This is Frederick blogging:
Today we woke up in the morning to see that the time had not yet been changed.
This was very confusing for my father who went down to breakfast early and found that
almost no one was there even though he thought it was 9:30. As it turned out it was
only 8:30. At the zone Charlie was signaling to me that he wanted to get out of there.
Day 2…first must discuss Day one
Woke to sun and excitement and flat seas. I am happy to report that as I write this on Sunday morning there are much bigger whitecaps, and we are rolling nicely.
Yesterday was a lot of ping pong. The wind came from the bow, so they closed the top portion where the paddle tennis courts are.
I rushed from a jog to a pedicure to lunch to a facial to tea ..so busy. No time for the lecture.
Charlie is not that sure about the kids zone. I keep telling him, it gets really fun and that is where the girls are. But he is skeptical. He cleared the hot tub, when (even though we got him new swim trunks in New York) he sat with legs spread on the edge of the tub with a hole in the crotch of his old trunks. “I think they saw my hole Uncle Thomas!!! Thomas: I think they saw more than that. Ellie: What did they do then Charlie? Charlie: They just left! Like-, hey! Where are you going? I was in the middle of a story!
When we got back last night, buzzed from Shirley Temples and vodka (one for him, one for me) he wanted to write his friend Theo. Great thing about CMB is he will take my comic advice, whereas my kid won’t. This is what we wrote together:
Dearest Theodore:
I just had caviar. It was the best on the Queen Mary. Me and Frederick are entering a paddle tennis tournament and we have matching uniforms...(I heart new york t shirts).
I might enter a table tennis tournament. I am getting really good at spiking now. I am also very modest.
Right now it is the first day on the Queen Mary. We play a bit of X box.
I seem to talk in my sleep a lot. There are five pools on the Queen Mary 2.
I get free cokes and fro yo. also beef tenderloin.
this is totally awesome. there are lots of pretty girls that i ignore because i am always playing bloody ping pong (the British swear word is bloody)
Sincerely Yours
Master Charles McCune Brigham
next time you see me, please call me master Charles as the captain does.
Tally Ho.
How funny is that??!! Kills me that kid.
The night had been formal, so the kids went to town: ties, socks, the works. Charlie has got it down: semi formal vs formal, ask the sommelier (“that wine guy” ) for your Shirley temple, but not for bread, Check check. Check.
He is a great orderer. Every single morning he has eggs benedict. I mean; if you only had one breakfast left to eat in your life, would you really order pancakes? For dinner he ordered something with caviar on it (all food is included fear not!) and steak. Frederick: tuna tartae, steak. We have had to put the five servings of fruit and veggies rule into effect. So Charlie has orange juice and carrots with his eggs.
At dinner we had pre ordered crepe suzette. I told them it was their mutual grandfather’s favorite, and it offered the huge advantage of having flames at your table. Real crowd pleaser. Earlier in the evening, we had been giving toasts: to the sea, to ships, to steak at sea …we were toasting everything. And then Frederick raises his Shirley Temple ("If a gentleman chooses to offer a toast, he keeps it brief, tasteful and to the point") and says:
To Charlie: a great cousin who is not seasick or homesick. And it really kind of choked me up…it reminded me of Ute Bowes when she toasts. Big ol loyal German hearts: when they love you, they love you.
Then come the crepes. Such a Charlie (Adams) Brigham dessert- all those dangerous flames and alcohol…and I tell you, then I got really choked up, looking at these two children eating crepe suzette in honor of a man they never knew, but who binds them. I told them forever more this would be their dessert; they could meet all over the world, if this was on the menu, they would have it.
They would always have crepe suzette. Ok boys?
Ok Aunt Ellie! I want to be bonded every day!! And then Charlie Brigham the second drops his head and licks his plate-every last bit.
So think good thoughts at 1 30 –middle of Atlantic time…it is the paddle tennis tournament. The boys are beyond excited. They actually laid out their uniforms last night. But we are a little worried they will not be allowed to be a team. Charlie said they should tell people they are brothers but he, Charlie, is at boarding school in Russia and so they do not see each other very often.
Frederick put his head in his hands, nearly overcome with how many problems there are with this plan. (How the hell are we going to learn Russian before 1 30 Charlie??!!) I think they compromised on an English school that is very obscure…for geniuses. Top secret.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Summer 2011
Greetings Bloggers, Family, Countrymen!
We are home, at sea. Handsome Turkish Maitre D’ is still here despite rumors to the contrary, and Charles McCune Brigham (calls himself Chu Mu now for short) wore a blue blazer and loafers without being asked twice. He also screamed he had no pants on in front of the Danish royal family in the Carlyle, and asked What does masturbation mean in the limo from the Airport (Frederick basically asked why he had not learned that as God intended, from Mrs. Dorfler) He also asked the Sommelier to take away his amuse bouche. We told him that was the wrong person to ask, but we will draw him a chart.
Before we get to the Queen Mary 2, a few words on New York: bliss. Hot, but blissful. Charlie was delighted with first class on Virgin America (Feddie it’s beautiful!!!!!!!!!) and with the blonde Eloise look-a -like stewardess. God he is amusing. He asks for a coke or two more than his parents would allow, he asks why the sommelier is not the same as a bus boy, but he accepts the answers. Frederick is glued to an etiquette book we got at Brooks Brothers (it is like the playbook for invading Poland. F digs the specificity: “a gentleman always passes bread basket to the left, except when..blah blah….Charlie is happy to hear the condensed version. There is a lot to do here as it is.
Young Charles eats everything, loves everything, laughs at everything, and generally charms the pants off of all others. We went to central park for a well-deserved sprinkler run..and some New York kid with a few too many hours of park avenue self confidence training (age four) basically challenged him to a duel after saying he looked like a girl. I am pleased to report that Charlie wasted no time in squashing this little pain in the ass’ dreams quickly and repeatedly.
Thomas says enough is enough…not all of us are winners and no four year old can beat CMB at tag.
A little Russian girl poo-ed in the playground for the second time, and I lost it. I nailed her to the wall and demanded she tell me who her mother was. Then told her babysitter who finally appeared, to deal with her charge and the poo on her shoes so my little darlings would not run in the same sprinklers as she did. How I love New York! All this honesty!
Then the QM2….oh how lovely it is to leave land. Really…my kid gets more and more apoplectic each time, like he knows what it means to be out here. He is beside himself with joy. Charlie is happy in the hot tub with a coke…happy with everything: not reverent about it yet perhaps. But we’ll see what seven days at sea does for a little Aquarius child. (By the way, we told them they were not allowed on deck 7 without us-because the guard rail goes to my high waist and I cannot bear to see them peering over.)
So it is all good out here people, all good. We are laughing all the time. Really- being around Charlie is like being back in my early youth-with Andrew and all the circus that life was. By the way, the next-door neighbor at dinner remarked on our well-behaved children (!!!!!)
Sucker.
Full day report tomorrow.
We are home, at sea. Handsome Turkish Maitre D’ is still here despite rumors to the contrary, and Charles McCune Brigham (calls himself Chu Mu now for short) wore a blue blazer and loafers without being asked twice. He also screamed he had no pants on in front of the Danish royal family in the Carlyle, and asked What does masturbation mean in the limo from the Airport (Frederick basically asked why he had not learned that as God intended, from Mrs. Dorfler) He also asked the Sommelier to take away his amuse bouche. We told him that was the wrong person to ask, but we will draw him a chart.
Before we get to the Queen Mary 2, a few words on New York: bliss. Hot, but blissful. Charlie was delighted with first class on Virgin America (Feddie it’s beautiful!!!!!!!!!) and with the blonde Eloise look-a -like stewardess. God he is amusing. He asks for a coke or two more than his parents would allow, he asks why the sommelier is not the same as a bus boy, but he accepts the answers. Frederick is glued to an etiquette book we got at Brooks Brothers (it is like the playbook for invading Poland. F digs the specificity: “a gentleman always passes bread basket to the left, except when..blah blah….Charlie is happy to hear the condensed version. There is a lot to do here as it is.
Young Charles eats everything, loves everything, laughs at everything, and generally charms the pants off of all others. We went to central park for a well-deserved sprinkler run..and some New York kid with a few too many hours of park avenue self confidence training (age four) basically challenged him to a duel after saying he looked like a girl. I am pleased to report that Charlie wasted no time in squashing this little pain in the ass’ dreams quickly and repeatedly.
Thomas says enough is enough…not all of us are winners and no four year old can beat CMB at tag.
A little Russian girl poo-ed in the playground for the second time, and I lost it. I nailed her to the wall and demanded she tell me who her mother was. Then told her babysitter who finally appeared, to deal with her charge and the poo on her shoes so my little darlings would not run in the same sprinklers as she did. How I love New York! All this honesty!
Then the QM2….oh how lovely it is to leave land. Really…my kid gets more and more apoplectic each time, like he knows what it means to be out here. He is beside himself with joy. Charlie is happy in the hot tub with a coke…happy with everything: not reverent about it yet perhaps. But we’ll see what seven days at sea does for a little Aquarius child. (By the way, we told them they were not allowed on deck 7 without us-because the guard rail goes to my high waist and I cannot bear to see them peering over.)
So it is all good out here people, all good. We are laughing all the time. Really- being around Charlie is like being back in my early youth-with Andrew and all the circus that life was. By the way, the next-door neighbor at dinner remarked on our well-behaved children (!!!!!)
Sucker.
Full day report tomorrow.
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