You might have heard the news already over the wire, but yes here is confirmation that team Brigham/Wehlen won the tournament. Sweet talked them into the draw, despite the looks of the skeptical lesbian; did not have to tell the Russian boarding school canard, and then retreated to my deck chair. First match they crushed them 16 to 5 I believe. Just crushed the old people with acts of athleticism never before seen on this ship. Frederick, the veteran of four cruises now and Charles (Lord Chu Mu ) his highly athletic, enthusiastic, sidekick. Charlie was nervous in the warm-up. He had also somehow come late . Frederick was pacing in front of the courts like a tiger (where IS he??!!) I was admiring my new orange toenails. Charlie finally appeared with his usual bang, while panting I got really really lost!!!!!
The ship was rolling quite a bit, and that plus nerves lead to some bad hits. Charlie asked the judge if they could warm up a bit more for the match. This confused the assembled because they were playing canasta later and could not take all day.
Frederick wants to tell the story of the finals match:
The judge asked us right or left. I said right and she held up her cell phone in her left. The match started with them serving. After about 3 minutes, it was 9-2 for the opposition. I looked over and saw that Lord Chu Mu was at the point of crying ( Of the many things that are exaggerations on this blog, this one is not). “Don’t cry” I said. He managed to stop. After that, things got better. We got the next 5 points. About 1 minute after the score was 7-13 for the opposition. Soon it was 12-15, then 13-15, after that it was14-15 and then we managed to tie it at 15-15. We had to win by 2. We won the next point. They won it after.
16-16. We won the next point and the others double faulted. Now the ending was kind of boring so I can tell you Charlie’s fake version. He wrote it in an e-mail (with my mother) to Theo:
Dearest Theodore,
How it pains me to see your jealousy. First of all, I do not have a girlfriend, because as I am playing BLOODY ping pong…that is when I am not winning paddle tennis tournaments against old people. Today me and Frederick won the tournament on the last point an old lady served an underhand serve, and I hit it very hard, right at her and she flew against the back wall. I think I hurt her (she was approximately 90). We are going to play another tournament tomorrow. Why is everything so royal, you might ask? As it happens, this ship is English. Look it up, you barbarian. I must go soon to swim, go to the planetarium, hot tub and watch a movie. I also must play a little more ping pong.
Sincerely,
Lord Chu Mu
Remember, this e-mail was real but the paddle tennis story in it was not.
Charlie seems to have just finished his book so he is singing.
Ellie again. Yes the comedy was unreal-all this tension and admiration focused on a tiny astro turf court in the middle of the Atlantic. Thomas had given them a pep talk before. He told them they were representing the family. So we WIN!!!? Charlie says. No, I mean you must be polite to the other team and to each other. But then of course the East German coach in Thomas comes out: Charlie you take the forehand side, Frederick backhand. Charlie will try not to ball hog (sorry Feddie!!!) and Frederick will try to lighten the hell up and cease and desist with his patented and horrible slice two handed backhand. Now this is important: you will encounter cheating. Little faces look sad. So then we cheat back at them, right Uncle Thomas!!?? No Charlie, you will let it go. You will let it go.
Turns out this match was watched by a line judge AND a ref to call the score while simultaneously offering encouragement and commentary. (great shot Charles!) I of course could not watch, it made me laugh so hard: fist pumping in the face of a woman in a floral dress and orthopedic shoes. The tournament was such a hit in fact that the lesbian is having another one tomorrow. Charlie who is now presented with a decaf cappuccino and a bowl of carrots (Your usual Sir) at breakfast is eating egg white omelets in preparation.
Ping Pong tournament this afternoon. Waves are big. Fro'Yo wherever we look. All our needs are met.
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