Saturday, August 14, 2021

Tell the Cows you are Vegan

Lech am Arlberg is a mountain village and an exclusive ski resort in the Bludenz district in the westernmost Austrian state of Vorarlberg, on the banks of the river Lech. Lech was settled and founded in the first half of the 14th century by Walser migrants from the canton of Wallis in Switzerland. Until the nineteenth century, it was known as "Tannberg". Subsequently, the full name "Tannberg am Lech" gave rise to the present name "Lech".The church of St Nicholas, which is thought to have been built around 1390, was the parish church of the Tannberg administrative district, and there was also a Tannberg district court in Lech until the dissolution of the Tannberg district in 1806.In recent decades, the once small town has developed into a flourishing community, thanks to the influence of winter tourism and, increasingly, by summer tourism. 

I was walking along the other day when I ran into some cows. They are enormous and docile, with a reputation for being dim witted. Occasionally they can be protective of their babies when dogs are on the trail, and once on the Kriegrhorn one of them took a shine to Rainer and almost knocked him over trying to cuddle; but they are harmless. On this last walk I stopped to talk to one and was telling her how sorry I was about all the burgers and how she was such a good girl, when my SIRI went on and said "Thank you!". 

The whole code red for the planet is making me nervous and sad as I wander the hills. When I was young, I would not have appreciated the appeal of a rushing river, but now I stop and gaze almost every time. If I am hot, I wash my face and cool my feet in it; if I am tired, I sit and watch. I always wish I could show you guys how lovely it is, but nothing really photographs as well as it should. I will post a video and photos tomorrow.

There is a waiter here who is so good Luis noticed him at an event, and we all think he should switch teams and play for the Almhof . That is how in deep we are ...we are now recruiting for the Schneiders. He knows every thing you want your waiter to know about you; and is discreet about the rest. If you and your husband share one raw egg with four spoons at breakfast after praying to the sunflower God, he has no opinions. 

But if, like us, you want tabs on your elderly parents' caloric intake, he is your man. When we came looking for them on the lunch terrace he came up to us and simply said: "Toasted ham and cheese for both." Best of all, he makes funny comments on our orders sort of like Pop used to when he called us "short hitters". I asked for the salad and then the main course only (the daily menu has five courses on offer- you can have all or none). And he responded: "So you will have a salad and then a long, slow, expanse of nothingness until the veal, yes?  He is going in my pocket when we leave. (If only I could fit a cow in too).

I have learned at this advanced age that my steps when hiking are too big, and this makes me unnecessarily tired. Thomas explained this (a little late in the game in my opinion) on a really steep part and had me follow him for a while in these little Minnie Mouse steps. I wonder if this is the way one climbs Everest. 

The word for ice cream and the word for ice are the same in German. This shows how little regard the German people have for either. 

This year the town is filled with beautiful dogs that lie under the table at restaurants. We can't get over how well behaved they are and how our own dog would not, shall we say, fit in. We haven't even heard one bark. (Thomas says he thinks he heard one barking at the Berghof, but it was shot.) 

Our two Hs (Henry and Hanna) have made a big splash on the local scene. Daily they can be found at the golf course or tennis courts or on a scenic hike, or a local party, or most exclusive of all- with Luis S inside the Almhof which is of course not open. (Luis is tucked away for the summer in a comfy three bedroom suite). It's like night at the museum where one can stroll the halls at leisure when all the guests are gone, but this museum has an indoor pool and a two story wine cellar. 

I asked Thomas when during this summer was he happiest, and he said running downhill after a long slog up the other day. It doesn't sound like much, but it is empty brain, full heart, laughing legs; pure joy in the palm of your hand. 


Monday, August 9, 2021

Nothing Bad Ever Happens in Confoederatio Helvetica



 

We are now fully tucked into the Gasthof Post here in Lechy Lech- rain is falling after a sunny day, so all is good. One H. Tan is visiting us here and seems to have taken to the Austrian lifestyle quite quickly- a super star guest in all ways.

Had a few days in Switzerland a country whose cleanliness, order, and beauty never fail to amaze me. In the “Nothing bad ever happens in Switzerland” column, we were walking down the famed Bahnhofstrasse - a street that looks like it could be actually paved in gold, when we saw a woman fly off her bicycle into the street (it was rainy and the tram lines are really slippery). I kid you not, before we could even cross over to get to her, there appeared two police vans as if they follow people on rainy days who look iffy on bikes. The whole Covid scare seems to be, for now, in the Swiss re view mirror : we ate at one of our favorite restaurants in town and it was absolutely full. One had to wear a mask at the buffet but that was the only nod to the virus.

We snuck out most mornings to get strong coffee and this mango birchemuesli I become attached to. The Wehlie parent body do not, no way, no how understand the concept of going out for breakfast (one eats in high heels and pearls at home). We had to explain to them every morning what exactly we did. “But where did you do this? Who brought it to you?’ The interesting part was in front of the cafe was an area that was meant for buses, pedestrians, trucks, cars, children on scooters- anything. Apparently research has shown that fewer pedestrians die when motorists share the space with them without any lines telling anyone where to go. It assumes that people in cars don’t want to run over the kid holding a lollipop, and it of course works. Because nothing bad ever happens in Switzerland. 

Took a long walk as usual and saw all kinds of things one does not normally see from the car, but are so exquisitely Swiss in their diversity. For no discernible reason,  there was a mini park for goats where they had their own little house with shelving on the side so the goats could feel they were high up on a Swiss mountain; a state of the art military trying facility where men were fully decked out with M -4 rifles and hand grenades (against runaway goats perhaps); fields of tall corn; large expensive property for horse riding and boarding; and a public shooting range to train the public against invading Germans. My point is, it is this strange combination of great wealth and farming; neutrality during war time, but heavily militarized. 

So here we are in Lech sleeping behind enemy lines as I call it (the Post is the main competitor to the Almhof) . We are trying to get as much of Austria into Henry’s stomach as we can in 10 short days. So far he has had his first Weiner schnitzel, and Kaiserschmarrn as well as my favorite- Tafelspitz (boiled beef) with spinach purée and apple horseradish. F seems to have discovered the joy of an open bar and how beers magically appear before them whenever they look parched. I keep mumbling about losing brain cells but they seem to think a year of Exeter health class has them up to speed. 

We have dined with the Schneidies and scion Luis took the boys around; he is now away for a few days then back here with the brothers from a German/American family who come at Christmas. Best of all we get Hanna! She comes tomorrow for 10 days…we are sure to be more popular with her around. 

The vibe at this hotel is really so different: they embrace the whole antlers on every wall and angels frescoed on bed frame look. My beloved black turtlenecks across the road have gone in a different alpine direction shall we say. 

Our first night we met a couple speaking American English who are originally from Albany New York; they now live in a pretty town on a lake not far from here. “Oh why did you decided to move to Austria?” I ask. The man who is in late 70s looks at me for a long menacing moment and says “Because we just couldn’t live in America any more”. I say oh….what year did you move? 
“2010”. 
So we figure 89% chance they left because Obama was smelly and when we told them we lived in San Francisco, they stopped speaking to us. It’s like being in high school with 80 year olds who snub you in the lunch room, if at this high school the  cool crowd wore dirndls and boiled wool jackets  (right wing chic). I feel like yelling across the dining room: : "So you left because of Obama care only to move to a country where you enjoy FREE UNIVERSAL COVERAGE???? "
FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM A VERY POPULAR PERSON-I HAVE A COLD PLUNGE NAMED AFTER ME ACROSS THE STREET! !!

You see why we need Hanna to come. At this rate I will have no one to talk to besides the antlers. 






Spoiled Swiss Goats



Dueling Birchermuesli










Tafelspitz at the Burg Hotel 

Käsespätzle at the Krigeralpe