e is away....: Nothing Bad Ever Happens in Confoederatio Helvetica

We are now fully tucked into the Gasthof Post here in Lechy Lech- rain is falling after a sunny day, so all is good. One H. Tan is visiting us here and seems to have taken to the Austrian lifestyle quite quickly- a super star guest in all ways.

Had a few days in Switzerland a country whose cleanliness, order, and beauty never fail to amaze me. In the “Nothing bad ever happens in Switzerland” column, we were walking down the famed Bahnhofstrasse - a street that looks like it could be actually paved in gold, when we saw a woman fly off her bicycle into the street (it was rainy and the tram lines are really slippery). I kid you not, before we could even cross over to get to her, there appeared two police vans as if they follow people on rainy days who look iffy on bikes. The whole Covid scare seems to be, for now, in the Swiss re view mirror : we ate at one of our favorite restaurants in town and it was absolutely full. One had to wear a mask at the buffet but that was the only nod to the virus.

We snuck out most mornings to get strong coffee and this mango birchemuesli I become attached to. The Wehlie parent body do not, no way, no how understand the concept of going out for breakfast (one eats in high heels and pearls at home). We had to explain to them every morning what exactly we did. “But where did you do this? Who brought it to you?’ The interesting part was in front of the cafe was an area that was meant for buses, pedestrians, trucks, cars, children on scooters- anything. Apparently research has shown that fewer pedestrians die when motorists share the space with them without any lines telling anyone where to go. It assumes that people in cars don’t want to run over the kid holding a lollipop, and it of course works. Because nothing bad ever happens in Switzerland.

Took a long walk as usual and saw all kinds of things one does not normally see from the car, but are so exquisitely Swiss in their diversity. For no discernible reason, there was a mini park for goats where they had their own little house with shelving on the side so the goats could feel they were high up on a Swiss mountain; a state of the art military trying facility where men were fully decked out with M -4 rifles and hand grenades (against runaway goats perhaps); fields of tall corn; large expensive property for horse riding and boarding; and a public shooting range to train the public against invading Germans. My point is, it is this strange combination of great wealth and farming; neutrality during war time, but heavily militarized.

So here we are in Lech sleeping behind enemy lines as I call it (the Post is the main competitor to the Almhof) . We are trying to get as much of Austria into Henry’s stomach as we can in 10 short days. So far he has had his first Weiner schnitzel, and Kaiserschmarrn as well as my favorite- Tafelspitz (boiled beef) with spinach purée and apple horseradish. F seems to have discovered the joy of an open bar and how beers magically appear before them whenever they look parched. I keep mumbling about losing brain cells but they seem to think a year of Exeter health class has them up to speed.

We have dined with the Schneidies and scion Luis took the boys around; he is now away for a few days then back here with the brothers from a German/American family who come at Christmas. Best of all we get Hanna! She comes tomorrow for 10 days…we are sure to be more popular with her around.

The vibe at this hotel is really so different: they embrace the whole antlers on every wall and angels frescoed on bed frame look. My beloved black turtlenecks across the road have gone in a different alpine direction shall we say.

Our first night we met a couple speaking American English who are originally from Albany New York; they now live in a pretty town on a lake not far from here. “Oh why did you decided to move to Austria?” I ask. The man who is in late 70s looks at me for a long menacing moment and says “Because we just couldn’t live in America any more”. I say oh….what year did you move?

“2010”.

So we figure 89% chance they left because Obama was smelly and when we told them we lived in San Francisco, they stopped speaking to us. It’s like being in high school with 80 year olds who snub you in the lunch room, if at this high school the cool crowd wore dirndls and boiled wool jackets (right wing chic). I feel like yelling across the dining room: : "So you left because of Obama care only to move to a country where you enjoy FREE UNIVERSAL COVERAGE???? "

FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM A VERY POPULAR PERSON-I HAVE A COLD PLUNGE NAMED AFTER ME ACROSS THE STREET! !!

You see why we need Hanna to come. At this rate I will have no one to talk to besides the antlers.