Our step counting is getting out of control….we try to get 20,000 a day which is equal to 10 miles, and we are skipping things to accomplish this. I asked Thomas at what point could we say we had walked across the Atlantic.
Osman, the man in charge of both of the Princess and Queen Grills, and an all around big shot (his cabin is above the water line with a window, and his wife and kids get to travel with him sometimes.) knows that we like to hear the ship gossip, so he comes by our table and obliges. He still won’t budge on why they had to take the emergency detour to Nova Scotia. Apparently if a member of the crew blabs a secret to the guests, they will be fired at the next port. So he give us what he can: he says a person dies every trip, sometimes two. This is due to the average age on board of course; there are 99 year olds who come on alone. He saw one rather fat man choke to death in the Queen’s grill), and he said that as the guy was putting the piece in his mouth he thought “that piece is too big” then he heard the waiters rushing around and even though they did the Heimlich, he died of a heart attack. I am sure they carted him off and the crepe suzettes continued. He said the English are in the best shape of anyone when they are old. Says it’s because they were half starved during the war and their stomachs are now so little, they don’t eat much.
So you heard it hear people: less meat, more tea and gin.
Last night was another formal night and I just live for them. I asked Thomas if he could feel the “buzz in the air” which made him laugh. “There is no buzz!!.” But there is! You see these little elderly rushing out of the elevator to get to the 6 pm seating at the Britannia so they can go to the magician show at 8 and bed by 9. My heart just bursts with love at the sight of them. Many are attired in a black dress of the sort a Sicilian widow would don- these are the ones who chicken out. But the others seem to have a good friend at home that says they absolutely can and should work that one shoulder bronze sequined number. These are my babies. You can just hear the encouragement from Gertrude ringing in their ears: “But darling you are so BEAUTIFUL in that! Just staggering!” and even though they doubt themselves, they go for it. (They do keep the granny shoes and the granny glasses on however, just in case.)
I have taken to oohing and ahhing at them in encouragement and have instructed Thomas to do the same.
Our waiter is a man from India, a Hindu and a person of otherworldly kindness and zen. As I said last year, we fell in love with him when he would put our dishes down and say our part for us. “Excellent!” or “Thank you!” , all with a huge smile. He calls us Sir and Madam and I said Ellie and Thomas so we have now settled on Mrs. Ellie, Mr. Thomas. Anyway we were chatting last year and he was saying how happy he was with his little wife whom he became engaged to after an arranged meeting; and married at the third encounter. He was saying how much he adored her; how happy he was to know he had this woman at his side for life. “it is just the greatest feeling!!” They speak many times a day and she is taken care of by his parents in what looks to be quite a nice house. But then his father had a stroke and is in bad shape and the rains came and his house flooded and the kitchen was ruined. But he was happy. He said he had wanted to buy his wife a moped (her dream), but now he would fix the kitchen for her instead and wasn’t he the luckiest man on earth? He kept saying that…and then I saw the pictures of the house…mud everywhere total and absolute destruction. So I asked him casually: “How much does a moped even cost in India?” and he said “Oh Madam a lot..:$1500” and so we sort of secretly sent him $1500 from western union last year. He didn’t really needed it, in his town he is kind of a big shot. I just wanted him to know that he had touched us; that his joy made us smile every time we saw him. Also he got the Indian chef to make us a special curry last year and it was insane. Anyway, now we are friends- we write on what’s app all year and I got a special recorded message from his wife.
Yesterday he asked Thomas if he was ok, because he seemed thin. “Is everything ok Sir? you look thinner than last year?!” I just loved that…love supersedes discretion. He basically asked Thomas in his little black tie DO YOU HAVE CANCER SIR???
Of course I laughed. “No Midhun, it’s the stupid 20,000 steps”.
Yesterday he told me that his family has seen the ship because it occasionally comes to his home town and they are allowed to tour around for the day. He said they even saw the Kings Court (the enormous multi room food buffet) but didn’t eat anything. I asked why. He said “Oh Madam the food is so unusual to them, and they have never used utensils. We don’t use them at home.” They just mix the curry up with the rice and naan and pick it up that way.
I was listening to him with three forks and two knives in front of me; and a caviar spoon in my hand. But it was clear to me who is the better man.
Oh Crap Thomas has found me and is waving his phone/ step counter/ lord and master and now I will walk again.
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