A few more dets on the croc
swim, before we move on to the elephant charge. As you probably know, crocodiles kill by drowning their prey in a move
called the “death roll”, and only eat (a baby hippo, honeymooners, whatever) later.
At Sands River camp, they are everywhere, both in and out of the water. (Sometimes
they sun themselves with their mouths open-horrifying) The hippos are also
plentiful and very very testy. They weigh as much as an SUV and have large
powerful jaws that can crush any animal. Most of the time they sit with
their little eyes and ears out of the water in a most adorable way.
When we went on our evening
cruise, I was struck by what an undesirable combination this was: hippos plus
croc plus small tin boat plus shallow river. I told Thomas the only thing
missing was terrorists shooting from the shore. But the hippos stayed where
they were, so it was ok.
But when the French team went
in, there was one hippo in particular who came up to the boat. I am not sure
what happened because there were two versions. One version was the hippo was
mellow, the other said he was aggressive both said he was close, and accidentally (or perhaps not) tipped
the boat from the side. It sank immediately. Guide of 20 years was so shocked
he was almost incapacitated, having only recently learned to swim
himself.
The new bride of the English
man apparently freaked out completely, but her public school husband was very
stiff upper lip upper crusty part boy scout about it. He grabbed the cooler
that was in the boat with the idea it could be used as a flotation device. They
swam with it in between them
I had asked many questions to
the guides about swimming-with croc-etiquette only the day before (much to the
guffaws of the family) and it was explained one’s best chance would be to swim
very gently. A lot of splashing makes the crocodile think you are a wildebeast.
None was a good swimmer and
the English man said he kept his camera around his neck in case when they
reached shore, they could scare away the animals with the tiny light. So they
are swimming with a cooler in between them and a camera around his neck and at
this point the German swim team I am married to is getting restless. You can
just see the bubble over their heads: How the F did these people win the war?
The new bride is cooing…I
CLEARLY married the right man. Oh darling you were brilliant. He thought of the
cooler! He thought of the camera!
Thomas and Frederick (and
Charlie I am sure) were thinking: why didn’t they swim as quickly as possible
to the god damn shore? With this strange barge of soft drinks they were
hauling, they were in the water for way longer than necessary. And how well is
the light working now? After the swim?
Oh that reminds me. The kids
did an imitation of what I would have done in the water. So so funny. Whenever I
got nervous on the boat I would pinch the children rather hard. Charlie calls
it Ninja Ellie. It’s when I basically lose my shit and come after their necks
-they think I have a teeny temper. They claim the first order of business when thrown
in would be to slap both of them for getting us into this, and then when the
croc came up, to slap him too.
Anyway back to the swim. The
French took a longer time to get to shore due to the current, but all made it.
Weirdly none of them was thinking about crocs. They were afraid of the water!
French man acted exactly like
I would have afterward- (one must play the part) very dramatic and traumatized but
in a noble way. At dinner he consumed nothing but red wine and coffee. His wife
however, ate with gusto. OOOH Chocolate!!
I asked them casually where
they were going to next.
Stay out of Zanzibar, is all
I’m saying.
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