Greetings from the Cala di Volpe where I am in the pleasant company of Eloise, and scattered Euros awaiting dinner. Here is Eloise with a few words:
Traveling with Ellie and Thomas is as you can imagine: perfect. Not a worry in the world, always a little action, perfect food, sun, drama and romance. I will let Ellie explain to you all about Fredericks future wife, the handsome sailors who they are trying to send me off with, and adventures we have had as we look at the Smerldera Coast, sipping our proseco.

Where to start. El has caused a bit of a stir here with the wait staff. She has some competition for queen around the pool. Actually only one: A French model with 2 kids who speaks Italian and English. She is your worst nightmare...we have not seen her put one calorie in her mouth and we have been watching. She smokes and drinks Bellinis and wears gray..our side is of course larger and blonder and in various tropical colors with better teeth. The thing that has brought us together is that F and the daughter, Vittoria have struck up a tiny friendship...they play together at the kids' zone and she kills us by somehow liking him...She is very sophisticated, wears no bathing suit top and asks him: where you a- go? when he leaves the pool.
Eloise and I witnessed this episode: F was finally allowed to stay up for dinner and he saw her at the dessert table and sidled up to her and said provakatively: water balloon fight? (they have these at the zone) and then went over to the cake table and said: cake fight? somehow it was funny..she smiled with delight at his back as he walked away, and we witnessed the whole thing. The mother is ravishing and wears her hair in a low chignon at night, and down in the day in her black bikini. She does not talk to us, but we of course act like Texans : our children are friends!!! lets be friends!!!
She does not, yet, appear to want to be friends.
Ok food: Lunch is a scene ..the "women who are being supported by older men category". Unbelievable. the disparity between bodies is shocking. Hers: tiny, topless in sheer top at lunch. topless in sheer top at lunch you heard me. they get good tables. believe me and tan tan tan. Rosé wine at lunch as well....His: tan tan tan old old old. Happy happy happy. But El and I cannot figure it out The bathrobes are not that fluffy at this hotel. How could it be worth it?
Eloise would like me to add the following. His: large nose, round faced, large stomach..inching towards 80.

I think the women in this group have a support group that meets at 10 by the pool.

Cocktail hour (right now) El says it is best time of day. true. Light is beautiful. The French goddess looks good. One orders a bellini..and this is what happens. Little Italian elves come with olives (whatever) tuna with mayo (can't explain ...it is reeellly good) guacamole, and mini pizzas...and chips. It is heaven. It is all that you ever needed.

Dinner: armies of waiters in black and everyone decked out to high heaven and a buffett line for the anti pasti.....Eloise and I have gone every night and every night have forgotten that people go from right to left down the enormous table..as we swim like giant salmon up stream.."scusi scusi", then finally, the light goes on OOOHHH! we are going the wrong way!! hah hah. It is fun to be American and expected to be loud and gay. And we are very loud and gay. Everything is very funny after all that tuna.

We took Eloise to show her the boats..that is the center of the scene here. Best way to show off is to buy a big boat and best of that is to buy a big racing boat and fill it to the brim with very hunky Aussies and New Zealanders in shirts with the name of your boat. We were struck dumb: by the men and the boat. They were, having likely crossed the atlantic in this thing without much comfort (need minimal weight), highly intrigued by Eloise and when she approached their Heineken hospitality tent they circled..bar here, meeting there, must come lots of white teeth and tan feet.

Eloise writing to you now: Fredericks skills as a highly skilled romancing machine are very clear at the shy age of seven...Ellie is modest....the young and beautiful Vittoria is practically chasing frederick around the Cala di Volpe, Vittoria, Frederick, and I spent part of the afternnon in the pool together... F immediately had V laughing in hysterics and then quickly decided he had had enough and was out of the pool in a flash leaving V wanting more. Fast forward to drinks by the harbor (the best time of the day) and there was the beautiful V asking again for F (he had clearly made an impression.) Ellie blew her poor sons cover telling the cool Italian V with a 10pm bedtime that unfortunately her son was in his blue pajamas but would be walking to grandparents house across the way ... V, in a move that shocked us all, took sister and babysitter to grandparents room waiting outside. F arrived. Did not stop. Waved like a pro. and sauntered inside. Such a lady killer.

Ellie again:
Have decided to outline the cast:
Wildly tan older perhaps celebrity of some kind, Italian with younger paramour with no top and horrible voice Eloise calls him the blueberry because at night his tan turns purple

Hat-shit crazy german: woman who.god how to explain??!! she wears different versions of the same thing..something you would wear to a wedding with huge flowered hat

Tomorrow we will send pictures of those two...sorry about the typos..must rush to dinner early and the soccer game. F has an actual date with V tonight..rubbed shower gel and cream all over (told me he "concentrated on areas people would see..so he did not wash his shoulders") he has finally totally realized what is happening and is awaiting me to put gel in his hair.