day 5

Ok the time-line is getting a little confused..what with the emergency blog.
At present I am in bow of ship. It is the morning after the "storm" Here is what I have learned:
Found myself in the elevator with a man in white with stripes. I pounced: How 'bout that storm?
yeah...never really materialized, really. (Englishman-lots of reallys)
It didn't' ?!
No...strange, really.
Oh. that is so disappointing.
Well, probably for the best, actually. Things get really quiet when it is like that.
Quiet?! The stabilizer gets quiet?! (stalling.....?)
The restaurants get quiet ma'am.

Whole lotta nothing. The English hate drama.


Then I ran into turkish nemesis (never before have I seen him away from restaurant) and we chatted...He said that they were talking 25 foot waves and were instructed to take all glassware off tables (after dinner they set for b fast.) that is gale force, people. And I came that close. so sad.

Here is what it looks like..we are very high up, so the waves look messy but never scary because unless it is an 80 footer (which happened with the QE2 a few years ago..tidal wave middle of night..people fell out of bed; captain said it looked like white cliffs of Dover coming at him) they look small. But in any other boat any of us have ever been on, these would be unpleasant. The wind was 30 knots yesterday...I am not sure, but I think gale is 60? Will look it up.
We are 500 miles from land-closest is Azores. 1,000 miles from England.

Behind me is a classic: crumpled heap of English nobility in a wheel chair in dark glasses with very posh English accent. Smoker. "It's Ridiculous!!!! absoluuuutely ridicUlous!!" She is playing word game (English people I am told read the dictionary on the toilet. While we are reading People magazine. ) She is literally boiling over. Something about the clue given for the word Aspect. Come to think about it, it is hard to define.

Speaking of English...too funny these species. Ran into small kid (younger than F) on way to Kids Zone. He was trying to tell us (politely) we were going the wrong way. Of course I have no idea..am following F....F corrects him...and the kid runs after us saying: Oooooh I am such an EEEEDIOT! and proceeds to smash into a wall. Like a cartoon...all four limbs up against the wall..sort of Wiley Coyote like...Being a Town school kid..F does not stop to inquire if he is injured..because this has somehow turned into a race....
But .I ask you what American kid would say that? Americans.. (my offspring included) never admit they are wrong, or even that they didn`t know it all before. You can say any fact and these kids will say: knew that. The Brits however appear to have taken the self effacing class..the one where they must practice: OK kiddies: after me " I am an eediot! A buffoon! I am not worthy of ANNnything!

Crumpled heap is now quoting stats: 17,000 sheets a DAY they launder here. The CREW is 893!! 893!!
Every third word is shouted: It is THE same NUMBER of sheets that THE BRITTANIA used for SAILS!!!!
Queen Mary 2 is quite SIMPLY the longest passenger ship ever built. Longer than the EIFFEL Tower is TALL. She can stretch her length four blocks. It BOGGLES the mind Mary, it Simply boggles the mind!!!!!!


So F and I slept 11 hours last night. Every day we lose an hour, so it is 11:00 am. It screws up entire day. We miss getting tickets to planetarium and are forced to go stand by...there is not a long enough time between b fast and lunch. It is hell. Dinner is black tie and around the corner.
Tonight is the night: I photograph Turk in his natural habitat along with my posse of staff whom i am all in love with. Especially Oliver who makes flambé things next to my seat..thereby giving me warmth and an overview of my future dessert. He will literally flambé anything you ask . I am going to ask him to flambe my napkin.

Crumpled is still at it: There are 17 decks!!! (floors) She and her companion are discussing how this is a trip for the very fit, really. If they had known how physical this would be ..they could not have come. they are happy they came..but it is daunting really.
Bloggers: i cannot emphasize how hilarious this is. How helpless people are. The action around the coffee dispenser comes to mind. The people approach it very carefully. With respect....they usually have a friend along for moral support. She puts the cup down. She stares at the options....decaf, espresso..oh the list is endless. She thinks about giving up. He cheers her on. She closes her eyes and pushes...liquid comes rushing out. Oh the exhilaration!!! Then, quickly, fear: how to turn this off!!??? She panics (they all do) Reaches for the cup before it is done. AHHHH Burned with hot coffee. Husband`s arm around, whisks her off....only to annoy me by trying again tomorrow....
I am not kidding..I have seen this many times. They cannot believe that it will put the exact right amount of coffee in and turn off. They have no faith. It is all I can do not to push them out of the way and do it for them. I ran into a male version of Marcy....asked me where the restaurant was...on the fourth day! You gotta know where that is by now....anyway, I pointed...only to see him somehow get to a little balcony where he could see the entrance..but there was this vast space between him and the door of the restaurant and vast space below him. He was so confused...there it was in front of him..but how to get there?! He actually looked down... as if he were thinking: I don't remember having to Jump before...

This is perfect. They are actually discussing cucumber sandwiches.
Now she is correcting herself: Nooooo nooo!!! I was quoting you the INCORRECT statistic...It was the Mauritania had between 850 and 1000 staff.
Oh I am an EEDIOT!!