Wandering Bananas

"Brazilian wandering spiders, also called armed spiders or banana spiders, belong to the genus Phoneutria, which means "murderess" in Greek. And it's no wonder why — it's one of the most venomous spiders on Earth. Its bite, which delivers neurotoxic venom, can be deadly to humans, especially children. 

They are often hidden in shipments of bananas, so unloading banana should be done with extreme care..."

     Greetings to all! 

 Well you can sleep easier tonight because the rainforest is one step closer to             being saved thanks to us. Did you know that the rain forest is responsible for 20% of all oxygen on the earth? So we left the tough streets and elegant cafes of Sao Paolo and took two flights into the jungle. The flights were on time and despite there being no business class, very comfortable. The only hesitation I felt was when we were boarding they simply waved us out of the terminal with the vague instruction: "last plane on the left." (Photo below of boys on the tarmac; it is a wonder they didn't end up in Bolivia.) We landed in a town called Alta Floresta, were picked up in a van, driven on dusty red roads for an hour and a half, and then climbed into a boat with our luggage. By this time we had hit the trifecta of exhausted, hot and hungry. Our guide Maurizio stopped every so often to point out birds along the river; and at first this was exciting, but after a short while we were praying he would stop talking and get to lunch. Finally, after about 40 minutes, we pull-up to a nice large deck with green umbrellas over the river where we were told we can swim. "In the river?? The one with caiman and anaconda and piranha? Yes he says...very unlikely an anaconda will be there, and the piraña are in the other part of the river." That is sort of the vibe in the Brazilian jungle: "it's probably fine." There is even a teeny sign that says casually: if you have an open sore, don't swim. I need not point out they don't have a sign like this by the YMCA pool. 

Anyway it is so hot, there was no way we weren't going in, so we did (every day) but no one was lingering I'll say that. 

Good game of chicken when you add crocodiles and giant snakes

We slept in an un-airconditioned wood cabin with netting for windows- it was hot, but with the fan at night it was ok. On our way to dinner at the central building...we had to watch for snakes and spiders, but it wasn't really scary. Food was good...cocktails available...and all round very much like an African safari vibe but not dressy. The days were spent either in the boat on the river, or walking through the jungle, or both. The walks were a nice sort of stroll to look at flora and fauna: we saw spider monkeys who yelled at us and then carefully collected branches to throw at our (Charlie's) heads. We also saw a herd of about 40 wild boar which was sort of intimidating, especially because guide had announced that there had been a group that had been charged the day before. But this was a different group of boars, and "it was probably fine". This made me not want to stop and linger near their salt lick, but I was in the minority. The guides- and all the Brazilians I met actually- were serious and totally dedicated to the work of conservation. They are as interested in the little leaf as they are the big dangerous animals- pumas and crocodiles for example. The guests however - and I won't name names- could only talk about birds for so long; then we wanted to know what could kill us. Charlie was particularly interested in anaconda, Frederick was counting the moments until the stars came out, and I was trying not to get killed by a wild boar or bitten by the bullet ant, an insect reputed to be the highest animal on the pain scale. The bite causes men to writhe in agony for two days; but no one dies. 

More than 1,000 year old tree; 250 feet tall. We do not want these cut down. 

View from the tower

always on time for meals these two

The dreaded tower

The worst insect turned out to be a surprise: on the tree by our hut was a colony of enormous, two inch long cicadas. Every time we came in or out of our room and walked past their tree, they would jump on us- on our backs and faces. It was ludicrous...like being jumped by a gang. We took to taking the long way around the tree at night, sneaking past them like you would a sleeping dog in a cartoon. Someone asked me "if one were afraid of insects, should one go to the rain forest? And my answer is no. Despite de forestation, and the ruinous effects of humans on all things, there are still plenty of things that will bite you. 

By far the scariest thing was actually a trip up a tower to see the sunrise. Maurizio said if one were afraid of heights it was not a good idea. I found this terribly un specific: how afraid of heights? I have no trouble riding in a ski tram, but I would never sky dive. But I figured I would try. We met before dawn in complete dark for coffee and then set off through the woods for a short walk. This was sort of unnerving, but Charlie was ahead of me making me laugh, so I managed. The tower is 150 feet high with stairs that are closer to a ladder in steepness. It is really loud in the jungle at this point - the little creatures are starting to wake up and the cicadas at this time of year, at this time of day, actually scream. It is a sound I love when I have a drink in hand or am lying in my bed, but now as I start to climb this rickety Brazilian metal ladder, the sound is ominous. Each step is sort of hard, because your body rebels against the idea..your brain tells you everything is fine, but your legs seem to be in active rebellion to get you to turn around; and through it all the cicadas are screaming like in a horror movie. At about half way we reach one platform where we can in theory give up- but there is no reason to because this level is also awful and I don't want to wait for everyone alone. So I keep following Charlie up and up until the top where we see a truly magnificent view, straight out of a David Attenborough series. I saw the sun come up: yes very nice, lovely, but when are we going down? Because the thing you discover 15 floors up is the whole tower is secured by these rather thin cables and it wobbles. So you are up there, without breakfast and you are wobbling and the cicadas are screaming. Then Maurizio answers my question- Oh we will stay just an hour and forty minutes; without coffee; and the wasps have now found us. I instantly transform from Jane Goodall to Woody Allen as I ignore the sunrise and concentrate on my can of bug spray, killing off the last remaining insects in the rain forest. When dear Maurizio thinks he has talked enough about various species of trees and cloud formations, we are allowed to descend- backwards (it is supposed to be safer) and get to breakfast. 

A high point of the trip was meeting Doña Vittoria, the owner of the lodge and surrounding park. Her father was a rich farmer in the area, and when she grew up she bought 100,000 acres or so to protect the land from de forestation. She is just the loveliest- in her 60s and soft spoken in a slightly wounded way. In excellent English, she told this very sad tale about the battle for the rain forest, where the combination of a poor country, bad leadership and basic human greed has led us to this dangerous point. If the land is bought, it can be protected- otherwise people will kill the animals and chop down the trees to feed themselves in the short term. At the little presentation Thomas of course raised his hand and asks what he always does, i.e. How much? How much would it cost to buy enough land? The answer was surprisingly little: Elon Musk or the Gates Foundation could basically save the rain forest with $100 billion. Anyway, one visit and you feel how important it is...how much life and oxygen are in the jungle; and how much we need both. 

At the last minute, we decided not to do the long two lights into Sao Paolo, only to turn around the next day and take two more flights into the desert. Thomas somehow finds a private plane to take us all away, and three handsome Argentinian pilots come to the jungle for our exit. Margaret always says she is  a desert person, but Thomas and I are happier in the jungle. Yes, it will kill you, especially if you have even a moment of weakness- an open sore, a half a candy bar left in your room, a broken window. Water is everywhere; life is everywhere- even perhaps unhappily in your pillow. But where the desert is quiet and empty, the jungle is a Puerto Rican wedding- overflowing with drama and life and thick, intoxicating air.

Yes, I rather think we are jungle people. 

Confidence inspiring plane; slightly worrisome runway

Was so excited for trip, and then promptly fell asleep somewhere over Bolivia