e is away....: Arranging flowers on the Titanic/Scenes from a Quarantine in a Blue State

San Francisco quarantine essentials

Last night the doorbell rang and it was a woman holding a bag with one potato. Apparently instead of a bag of potatoes, I had ordered one. This was especially ridiculous because it was the second insta-cart delivery that day, so definitely the most expensive potato ever. In case we needed more proof of incompetence, peninou -the fancy dry cleaners that we use- delivered an elegantly wrapped paper package which contained a very old washcloth. Somehow that had gotten in with the linens, and it is still stained. We have ants, the dog has been stress eating with an emergency house visit from the vet; and there is sand in my bathtub that I can't seem to chase down the drain. Frederick and I made a secret pact to keep the vacuum cleaner behind the sofa so we don't have to lug it up from its home in the laundry room every other day. We knew this kind of corner cutting would upset Deutschland, so we kept it secret for a few days, but I couldn't bear the burden anymore, so I told him. As predicted, he reacted with all sorts of emphatic pronouncements.

I am ordering food all the time, with little organization, but with the standards of the latest Danish celebrity chef. If I think I need a Vidalia onion for a recipe, then no other onion will do. But the good news is I now, after Coronavirus, know how to spell vacuum. two Us!!?

My ordering reflects other strange priorities- flowers for example. I had Javier order Costco hydrangeas from his bunker, (they deliver!) and then because they only send this enormous amount, had to spend all this time arranging them. After I got a lovely note from our neighbors about seeing Frederick and how nice he blah was, and how much they love sitting at breakfast looking at our reflecting fountain, I promised her I would put floating candles in there at night. When the Amazon truck came, Thomas had to ask. He could deal with the potato, but this didn't look edible.
"what is that?"
"floating candles"
"why did you order floating candles?" Not that he was sure he wanted to know the answer, but what the hell it's quarantine.
"It's for the neighbors to look at."
He then told me if I didn't write about it in the blog, then it wasn't an honest blog.

Party is used loosely here but in the new definition I have had a few already- mostly in the driveway. I have big plans to have Tommy graduate to the backyard with his banjo, Easter will be quiche on Mom's steps; and we attended Chris N's 50th birthday gala complete with a song from Tom. I lived on the edge and took caviar from Simone hands. If I end up in the ICU, it will have been worth it.

In any case, in these dark times, my priorities have come clearly into focus: flowers and candles and fake parties with real caviar. What has gone by the wayside is apparently my appearance. Below are selfies of actual things I was wearing for a good part of the day last week. Before I took the selfies, I hadn't noticed anything amiss.

In the hope of coming out of this with a few brain in cells left, I decided we might as well learn something while we watched all this T.V. Enter Thomas' choice: the 12 part mini series on Vietnam, because nothing is more relaxing after a day of listening to Jarad Kushner's plans for CoronaVirus than brushing up on the whole Nam thing.

I have more of course to say, but am so tired, so must feed dog, then bathe self. OH! and of course get ready for The Podcast in which Frederick tells Mimi and me "One thing you need to know" and we translate it to Kate and Brooke and perhaps even baby George (what can I say, he is very advanced).