Never Mansplain to a Japanese Pharmacist

Thomas and I have been here a week, and don't feel the zen yet. There have been guests five of the days (Rainer and Peter consecutively). But there is no rest for the weary, because tonight most of the core crowd comes.

T and I were badly jet-lagged, but unlike at other hotels, this becomes news here. Mrs. Schneider appeared before me in the hallways like a specter asking about my night, and the waiters silently brought me shots of ginger.

Harumi is by my side thank god. We had one rather nice day of powder and she was happy with my turns. But on the last run she claims I leaned back and this she can't let go. For the uninitiated, the zen of skiing is to be forward; but not bending at the hip with bum out the back; no. She tried to explain what is clearly obvious to her- how you are supposed to be in this perfect upward position, with bent knees, but since different hills have different slopes. it is something that has to be constantly adjusted. A perfect position on the flat does not work on a very steep hill. Finally she told me that when my "po po" i.e. my bum is too far back, it must be brought back up. This was news. The thing I both love and hate about this sport is that to be safe you have to have faith in the experts, in accepted wisdom, in your Harumi.  Neither your brain nor your gut is of any use.

Today was one of those days that make you worry about the future of the planet, and more immediately of the hotel, because it poured rain. Of course we still went out, but there was such high wind that most things were closed and the hills were both icy and slushy.  At one point we were on a lift for a very small hill - the one where children learn- and we were swinging so badly I thought I was going to die right there on the bunny lift- which is of course such a poor ending for the biography Amy is going to write.

Yesterday we explained to Harumi what mansplaining was. She told us a tale about how she has met men on helicopter trips who won't shake her hand, because they don't want to ski with her. In their defense, it is genuinely dangerous out there and she looks like a pretty Japanese pharmacist.  Lots of times, the men try to ski faster than she does.....even though the whole point of having a guide is so they go first and test for avalanches. Luckily for these idiots, no one skis faster than Harumi-San. To paraphrase the sound of music: It's like trying to catch a moonbeam in your hand. Thomas famously said when she goes into her top gear it is like trying to follow a comet.

Tell me-is there anything more beautiful than the sight of all those tears and training and Japanese mastery forming the massive dust cloud on which those men must now choke?

Po Pos up, girls. Knees bent, but Po Pos up.