"It’s not something we can just sweep under the rug as just another disturbing footnote in a sad election season. Because this was not just a “lewd conversation.” This wasn’t just locker-room banter. This was a powerful individual speaking freely and openly about sexually predatory behavior, and actually bragging about kissing and groping women, using language so obscene that many of us were worried about our children hearing it when we turn on the TV.
And to make matters worse, it now seems very clear that this isn’t an isolated incident. It’s one of countless examples of how he has treated women his whole life. And I have to tell you that I listen to all of this and I feel it so personally, and I’m sure that many of you do too, particularly the women. The shameful comments about our bodies. The disrespect of our ambitions and intellect. The belief that you can do anything you want to a woman.
It is cruel. It’s frightening. And the truth is, it hurts. It hurts. It’s like that sick, sinking feeling you get when you’re walking down the street minding your own business and some guy yells out vulgar words about your body. Or when you see that guy at work that stands just a little too close, stares a little too long, and makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.
It’s that feeling of terror and violation that too many women have felt when someone has grabbed them, or forced himself on them and they’ve said no but he didn’t listen — something that we know happens on college campuses and countless other places every single day. It reminds us of stories we heard from our mothers and grandmothers about how, back in their day, the boss could say and do whatever he pleased to the women in the office, and even though they worked so hard, jumped over every hurdle to prove themselves, it was never enough.
Michelle Obama
I was going to write about Michelle Obama's wonderful speech in which she gave "Clinton's opponent" a beating while offering a rallying cry to reasonable men and women everywhere. The women in the audience loved it, as you heard these black voices saying : Aww HELL no!!
You wonder if the man knows women have the vote now, and they can get to the polls: most women are not actually tied to their bed posts.
The last paragraph of her speech resonated with me because upon reflection, none of my friends has avoided at least one unpleasant or dangerous episode with a man who had more power than she did.
I've had friends who were pinned against the wall by bosses, or asked to show their feet after work in the office, (foot fetishes exist, people) or followed down alleys; and lord knows, we've all seen many an open raincoat. On the night I made my debut I had to actually fight one off in the elevator at the Palace hotel. At first I thought it was just silliness from a drunk boy; but very quickly I was fighting him like I fought Andrew at age 8. But this time I was in a floor length gown and long white gloves. Of course I find something comical about everything...including this. Because after pushing him away and slapping his face with my gloved hand..I simply patted down my hair and shimmied my dress back into position. Then I went to the afterparty that I was -apparently- hosting. It was just a small delay in my evening.
Or was it? Because when I told Thomas the story 30 years later, I almost wept.
Weirdly the guy approached me at a restaurant years later to apologize. I knew exactly who he was; but i just looked him in the eye and said: I don't know you. Because I don't.
But today I will not dwell on such things because my heart is about to burst. Boo sent me all the emails the girls wrote back and forth as they were writing my song, and it just killed me. Everyone was trying to say what they thought was my essence..and I don't know who they are talking about...it was so kind. My favorite was from Katie R..the ultimate bad ass Jewish no nonsense lawyer who has been talking about social justice forever. She was always like this- and were all blond and more prone to talking about nail polish. God she made us laugh as she scolded us for being unserious..for using spray deoderant that polluted, or going out more than once with an idiot. Anyway this is what she wrote: "Everything that needs to be said has been said, other than: "Our Ellie is one very, very, smart blonde."
As if all that love were not enough: We are now so deliciously close to the first girl president after 44 boy ones. (It's a girl!!) So don't tell me things can't change- because it sure feels like they might.
As Frank Bruni said:
"Misogyny will play midwife to history. After being treated by Trump as if they’re disposable, women will dispose of him — at the urging of the first lady, in the service of the first female president. They will let him know that no matter how much money he has or how big a star he is, there are places where his tentacles can’t travel.
Not all the Tic Tacs in the world could sweeten that fate."
Now what do you say we go dance on the beach like Kate..?
