To Heli and back

Pictured above is Lisi, and Heli- another mountain guide from Lech. I joked he looked so much like a movie version of an Austrian mountain guide that he couldn't be real. (I think he might even have had elk blood on his jacket.. )

Yesterday had a day for the records I tell you... Went from plan "A" to plan "D" with yours truly bouncing along for the ride.

 I really am amazed I made it without actually crying. 

More details to follow, but here is all you need to know before you girls fall asleep tonight: 

1. skiing tells you a lot, if not everything, about how to face life. 

And, 2. if you have to ask if a person loves you-they probably don't. 

But your ski guide does.. Even if you don't deserve it. 

Sleep now 

Xx

Girl Power

Where I am lying writing this...

We had a lovely Christmas, but it felt odd-maybe it was the weather, maybe it was because I forgot my Handel's Messiah CD; but it didn't feel like a normal year.

The speeches however were wonderful: G and Frau S spoke about the renovations, and the symbolism of re-birth and change and progress. Then our Muslim dignitary spoke beautifully about the Syrian refugees' plight, and their welcome in Europe. I tell ya he was a hit, especially with the elderly ladies. One German fan who can't speak English gushed: "I have heat!". 

It's my new mantra. ...so primitive and yet so descriptive. 

Spent another day with my hero Lisi- the hand's down coolest woman on the earth. For those who may be planning an adventure vacation in the mountains soon, Lisi is a mountain guide- (one of only 10 females in Austria) meaning she can take you skiing out of bounds, and she can take you up Mt. Everest. Harumi is a ski guide only, so she skips the Everest. L grew up with four brothers, one of whom drowned at age three before she was born. She talked about it over lunch with us and we were stunned by the telling; particularly the beauty of how he is clearly still part of the family, and how profoundly sad they still are.  Like most Austrian mountain people she is serious-(the only time I could really make her laugh is when I told her of Harumi's dismay at my race performance) but she is more so. Anyway the family survived and spent many hours climbing up some wall in the Tyrol region...her mother forbade the children from climbing until they were seven, but Lisi was so "cute" and adamant, that they let her climb it at 5.
But to give you an idea how dangerous her sports are, last year she went to six funerals of friends of hers-all young people. Thomas of course wanted the break down of the causes of death; it seems avalanches killed most but not all. One fell of a cliff inexplicably. She has been in an avalanche herself, but pulled on her airbag back pack; a device she says "she loves". Then, even though it saved her life, she tried skiing without it a few times in the back country, to see if it had an effect on her decision making. To see if she took more risk with it on. Without question, she told us, she goes closer to the edge with it on.

Oh not only is she a sponsored athlete but she got her MBA so if she can't ski or climb anymore, she will have something to do.
Get a load of this picture from her website....www.lisisteurer.at


So you see why Thomas is keen to come along with us.
Today she truly kicked both of our rear ends with a 2.5 hour walk up a hill. Honestly, I wouldn't do this for any other woman....Harumi is much softer on me, more afraid I will have a cow if I am away from civilization too long.
But Lisi seems to think I am just fine tagging along with her.
And so I do.

A Royal Workout

Get a load of the weather forecast above. Indeed, it feels exactly like April here, with large patches of grass on the slopes and balmy temperatures.
We went on a very energetic excursion the other day with my bad ass replacement for Harumi.  H has given birth to a little boy named Ted. (is that the cutest??) with a middle name in Japanese that means "snowed a lot" because he was born in a snow storm (obviously.)  So I was assigned a new teacher-Lizzie: basically the coolest woman ever. In the off season she is a serious rock climber and is just back from Patagonia climbing and dangling and cavorting with Alex Honnold.
Anyway, she takes all of us out the first day to see how we ski, and the next day, we give the kids away,  and she takes us into the wilds for some skinning (walking up hill in skis). I had of course told her that Andrew and M and T would be her star pupils in anything cardio; but I would be a problem after an hour and a half. No matter...she wasn't listening. She proceeds to make us walk for just a tad longer than I would have on my own. And by "tad" I mean "plenty".
But we had a good time: skiing on patches of snow and grass, and then taking off skis and walking in water and then some ice....it's too bizarre.
There are many beautiful women in the hotel-new mothers mostly, with beautiful sad faces and bored husbands. My friends had mused that is was depressing to face the prospect of being out shined by a new crop...and I could not relate. The reason is not some sort of greater self confidence on my part. On the contrary-it's just that my husband is not interested in underweighted bad skiers in Prada. My husband worships people like Lizzie. As well he should. Believe me, she is beyond....competent and talented and kind and so f ing brave. And isn't courage the single most attractive thing in a person? Don't we all want a piece of that? Women like her and Harumi make me proud: really, I bathe in their reflected glory.
Speaking of courage-my absolute favorite Arab man in the hotel has agreed to give the xmas speech tonight. This is sort of big news in our Schneider universe because he does this professionally; so it is bound to be good.  To give you an idea, the last speech he gave was basically an announcement to get people to sign up for the ski race, but it was so moving-some of the Austrians thought it was time to invade Poland again. (last Poland joke of 2015 I promise!)

I will make this one short because it is Christmas eve and that might require an entry to itself tomorrow. more soon xx

One If by Land, Two If by Sea

I dragged Thomas through the Granary Burial Ground-resting place of Paul Revere and Benjamin Franklin's parents; among others. We were of course on our way to the Contemporary Museum of Art (where else) and I really had to put my foot down. I mean how many egg shell cartons symbolizing one's fear of failure can we see? But I think T liked it, and he is not really a buyer of the whole- freezing gray day in New England thing. Throw in a grave yard and he gets downright suicidal.
As most of you know, our very own Abiah Folger Karthauser (P. Folger's daughter) is named for Abiah Folger, mother to Benjamin Franklin. And this is what Ben Franklin had written on his parents' gravestone (i love this)

Josiah Franklin 

and 

Abiah His Wife

Lie Here Interred

They lived together lovingly, together in wedlock

Fifty Five years

Without any Estate or any Gainful employment (?)

blah blah 13 children pious, honest industry discreet virtuous, blah
then..

From this instance reader

be encouraged to Diligence in thy calling

and distrust not providence

In other words: work hard-and believe it is going to be ok, but don't worry about an actual job. Parachutes open, so jump. Also don't be a slut.

The other interesting thing about Boston is the people. First, and I am not making this up, the people you think should be at a hipster coffee house, are in fact at dunkin donuts. And not in an ironic-I'm so cool, I drink Dunkin Donuts way (guilty), but in a long line: I'm just popping in for a donut after yoga. It's a mad house. Also they suggest coming for lunch. lunch!
The second interesting thing is how chatty the citizens are! Is it the Irish in them? What is up with that? Our waiter will not leave us alone...drones on and on and shows up photos of the kiddies. The uber driver actually interrupts what we are talking about to chime in. I swear it's like a Seinfeld episode.
Ellie to Thomas: that egg shell display from the Iranian artist was witty wasn't it.
Thomas: Yes, Do you want to go to Bikram with...
Driver: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? DO YOU LIKE EGGS? WHERE DOES YOUR KID GO TO SCHOOL?
And not just once...it was like he was a friend, but in the front seat and just hadn't heard something directly. I have to say it cracked us up-

Ok finally I know you all want the chico update. We had a lunch with him-quick and cheerful with the Hermeys and Will. Then Thomas and i drove through the rain to go to dinner last night-a Friday no less, the night before the last half day before vacation. One would think it would be a gay carefree evening. But one would forget we are at PEA and they hit your hard...I think they might make you do homework on the way to the airport. F was on edge: said he had another two tests in the morning and a tour of the school to conduct. There is no doubt, he is under more pressure than ever in his little life. I can't say he is stressed, but he is tense....(Not the best time to ask him if he had a clean shirt or two for Lech). Sadly for me and my Christmas spirit, he arrived, straight from class at 6 15, and left by 7 30. But we did get some good intell out of him: he is taking some very cool classes-one on religion where they have dived right in about religion in America...in Bio they are dissecting...God I don't know -a former Exonian? class of 23? speaking Spanish to the king of Spain...knee bends in New Hampshire fields. All very storybook boarding school-painful but wonderful. I am sure it is like this for all parents of high schoolers, but because we don't see him everyday, it's like he is growing up as we are looking at him. As if we see the molecules expand and multiply in front of us.
Sigh. I must retreat to my mantra: We are mammals. My job is to make myself irrelevant.
And we are close to that already....

F did really well in my opinion in his first semester. So I asked what his advisor said about his grades; then I sat back, ready to luxuriate in the kind words. A little background-in a movie, she would be cast as that softball coach we all had..the one who doesn't show emotion until Jimmy overcomes cancer and wins the little league world series; so I knew she wasn't going to clap. But the way he told it, she looked at the grades, and said (I am paraphrasing, but it's my blog...)
Huh. I thought all Californians were lightweights.  Not bad. Now get out of my office, and don't cause me any trouble, I got enough on my plate. (How this cheered my Teutons! Honesty! how delicious...)
Urban legend (rural legend?) is she singlehandedly subdued a drugged out football player in his senior year. Just kneed him to the ground before the police could.
Kid probably came from California.

So F has just reported he got an flat A on his last test (Math) before break...he is free!! a little packing and we will meet at the airport for quick hop to beloved Lech. G is sending cocky texts (either that or he is massively drunk). They sound like a man who has accomplished something very difficult, or created something very beautiful.
Can't wait.
more soon from the mountains my lovelies...

We Ride...

Ok bloggies- we are off. We have a record setting number of bags and yoga magazines (see earlier blog); only thing missing is Albert. 

Boston til Saturday night, then direct to Lech, where we will see a new hotel - new lobby new kids area; and most importantly, a new tages bar- the soul of the place. My friends will already be there, and I'm hoping they send photos as soon as they enter. 

Alas, I fear I will be disappointed, and no advance photos will be forthcoming. Sigh. I wonder why I travel away from you guys.

Just praying K and G are not naked and babbling from the stress of the past few months. Honestly, their texts have become more and more cryptic, and only arrive in the middle of the night their time.

But who am I kidding? Frau S will be

tending to Princes and porn directors alike...  Our very own Angela Merkel in a dirndl: living proof that our long journey is over, and we are welcome.