I am writing to you from the Amangiri, a most ridiculously scenic hotel; but first must tell about Vegas and Grand Canyon.
Lord knows I hate to say something unoriginal, but I do not like Las Vegas: I don't get it.
I think it is the size: the lines at reception, by the pool, at lunch. Also the fact that there is the steady drum beat to get you indoors back to gambling. It is inhuman. Here is an example: I love the crazy-nes of New York New York...a replica of NYC landmark buildings, complete with long fake streets inside. It's adorable. Also incredibly dark and weird. What person would choose to eat at a fake New York deli without any natural light? Las Vegas visitors do.
I found a starbucks and at the back was what looked like a door..a door one could use...and beyond, holy of holies sunlight. I couldn't believe it..out i went and found an actual table in actual sunlight. When thomas texted me to ask where I was, I was euphoric. I told him I was sitting with a group of other blond euros acting in an erratic way...sipping coffee outside. Don't get me wrong: I want to like it..I want to be fun and decadent. I just keep looking for a way to walk somewhere.
OH! forgot to tell you that we went to a David Copperfield show where I was picked to go on stage and then forced to lie about a trick. Then i was offered a photo op with him backstage. A German came up to me after and asked if the trick was real, to which I responded-Yes...and he said "The most incredible thing I have seen in my life!!!" I felt bad for him...or maybe not. DC was surprisingly funny and more than a little weird afterward when he came down a dark hallway saying only "can you keep a secret??" it sounded like a bad priest.
Anyway..grand canyon was as awe inspiring as usual. We had no reservations and yet got lucky and got a very nice 100 year old cabin on the rim. One of these days I must actually walk to the bottom, but alas, no time.
The scenery is some of the most spectacular I have ever seen; it is almost too much to take in. And I love showing Frederick the US of A for a change. We stopped in some little town (not the one with the Road Kill cafe from instagram..."you kill it we grill it", but another one. Mexican food. F and I know what to do: keep it simple-Chicken tacos, Cokes. Thomas-mr I weigh nothing and eat nothing due to cholestoerol starts off badly.
"do you have sparkling water?"
No
What kind of beans are in the beans and rice?
Refried.
Do you have black beans?
No.
At this point F and I start speaking German to him..telling him to lighten up on the Vegan schtick. At this point we are convinced we are going to get run out of town due to the absurd WE ARE FROM CALIFORNIA WHEN WE ARE NOT GALAVANTING AROUND EUROPE sign on our heads. Not to mention we arrived in a porsche -the rental from Las Vegas.
Thomas gives up and wanders in the direction of a sign he saw that he claims said "espresso and books. " I tell him that must have been a mirage. He has been seeing a lot of them: at the Road Kill cafe there was a sign that said NO FIREARMS; when he got inside he thought the Hostess Will Seat You sign said
The hostess will kill you.
He was clearly feverish...by the time we got here he was actually sick. I was so gob smacked by the scenery, I went for a five mile run/walk that was very easy due to my incessant stopping to take pictures. T ate nothing and went to bed.
Poor guy...he now weights only five pounds more than I do.
Must go rock climbing now. But amangiri style which i believe includes a person strapped to the rock next to you holding a cappuccino. AND newly checked in are the Victoria and David Beckham family with Gordon Ramsey and family. Zillion kids and nannies between them.
I am going to tell Ramsey my pesto is better than his. It's the goat cheese.
