Few photos!

Winding down here, and we boy will we miss it; it has been such a happy dumping of sunshine and warmth and blue water on our souls. Thomas is especially skeptical of a return to civilization...he is so relaxed here. For me it is of course a lovely place to be quarantined, though it has a bit of a Truman Show vibe. That is the movie where Jim Carey is unknowingly in a reality show in a fake set where he cannot leave. At one point he literally butts up against a wall that looks like the sky. Whenever we get even close to leaving the property- even approaching the front gate, there is a security kerfuffle. Part of it is Corona Virus, and the rule on the island that one can come to the Amanera, but has to stay here. They practically threw a butterfly net over us when we tried to walk back from the spa on the absolutely stunning golf course.  We can walk up and down the beach, but it is not for the faint of heart. It is really, really hot and the sand can be so thick, that the way back is a bit reminiscent of Alexander's Gedrosian desert march. Very dangerous for couples hoping ot avoid divorce...must have water and a hat and a dive into the sea as soon as one is back.  It is a very hard earned 4,000 steps. 

We did do another jungle walk this morning and F came along. Too funny- S is just so happy to be in the jungle with all those delightful creepy crawlies, and when she is there we seem to stumble on things that our guide says he rarely sees- he almost jumped up and down over a special gecko, and then she found amid all these leaves, a very rare butterfly wing. The two of them were over the moon. F tries to get in the spirit, but this was the baby that cried the first time I put him on a lawn. 

The other guests here have been odd and disproportionately prop Trump. We heard one guy complaining about "all these masks at home" and another guy-who is from the Bay area and here for a month, is head of some sort of Jewish Republican group (we googled him). Lovely chap, but one wonders why only the Wehlens and the Trump die hards are traveling. Attractive people without boob jobs seem to be staying home. 

Beach walking soon, then rum and dinner with the delightful kiddies, then tennis mañana. D.C. Thursday night, home Friday morning. 😞 

xx

My daily lunch date and view. Tacos and Thomas. 

Hard at work

You can see how much studying F has done by his tan. 

Amazing architecture here...this is the front "lobby"

Thomas working on our puzzle

view from our bed. The clouds were a show every day...rainy dark ones and huge fluffy pink ones and everything in between

We made a run for the tiny beach next to ours...small freedom

Jungle walk again- this time with the physicist. 

S trying to show F how much fun a jungle walk can be

A Dominican Fishing Boat, a World Champion Kite Boarder and an Englishmen who speaks like an Aussie

 I figured I would save some time writing the blog by putting the most important things in the title. Maybe it will even be the whole entry.

Greetings! All is well. The climate is hot and, in the middle of the day, quite windy. We play tennis most mornings in the heat, although today it was in a full rainstorm. I am used to tennis being cancelled for the rain, but here in the jungle they don't know of this tradition.

Lunch is down at the beach and no matter how much I try to veer from the usual, it is always one shrimp, and one fish taco. They split the orders for me...I am hoping they name it "The Ellie" soon.

We do not drink rosé at lunch which seems to be de rigeur for the people who come for a few days only. We are part of an elite crowd of eccentrics who stay and stay and stay. Our only competition in this area is a family of five who live in New York but the father -whom we refer to a 'Fuzzy' due to his wild hair and half grown beard and slight caveman posture..(but in a dashing caveman way. I am sure his wife thinks he is quite handsome)-he apparently grew up in Florida which is exactly what I told Thomas. Thomas pegged them for Upper West side NYC and I said no way, no how....Florida. I guess we were both right.
They seem to laugh a lot and are quite the insulated little group...they do not associate with outsiders or, it seems do anything other than go to meals.

You might ask why we care...and I would remind you that the main reason one goes to a hotel like this is the people watching. It is like an expensive zoo. Everyone it seems flew privately here and no one wears pink. Men have things like shirts that tie on the sides and wear backward baseball hats. Kanye West was or is here (I couldn't understand the man who told me).

No one uses any of the beach toys except for us, and our team is carried by the heroic S who tries them all. She was seen paddle boarding in rough seas while her absent minded boyfriend was calmly reading A brief History of Time under an umbrella. Thomas and I were watching her over tacos and Thomas was wondering when he should jump in before she paddled herself to Turks and Caicos. But the biggest news in sports and perhaps the biggest news at the hotel is Thomas and the kite boarding. I gave him a kite board for Christmas a few years ago, and he has never had any lessons. Since the D.R. has a huge kite boarding scene, we arranged for lessons here. It wasn't easy..normally clients go into the tourists town nearby, but because of Covid, we have to stay on campus. After much negotiating, they arranged for a teacher who moved here in 2001 from England, who comes with the Dominican world champion: Luis Alberto Cruz. Please google him. Lastly, they bring an old guy in a fishing boat to follow Thomas and fish him out of the sea.

The first day is almost three hours on a Saharan type sand-scape but with wind. It looks awful. Then he gets in the water and stage one (this sport is apparently difficult) is basically being dragged around in the water by the kite. Day two is more water and I go up to the top floor where there is an open air bar with views of the sea. I see what I think is my husband dashing back and forth on what I think is the board. Then I see him leap in the air and I assume he has done this on purpose. Alas he had not. He landed (I didn't see it) on his back from high above the sea. Every waiter and concierge and driver and taco hander-outer is talking to us about Thomas and his kiteboarding. They feel he is an exceptional talent. They also think my taco order is a thing of poetry, as it my forehand and where did we pick up this incredible Spanish. It takes a while to catch on, but we are getting there.

Thomas is as sunburnt as I have ever seen him, and his eyes were puffy from so much sand, sea and suntan lotion over the three hours. We had room service with the kiddies and watched separate movies. He is back at it tomorrow.

Ok I will get this up with photos now because I know you are clamoring for fewer words and more photos.

Oh God Kanye is here. He is sitting in front of us. Weird entourage, Camo pants, strange fishing vest with things in it ...weird is my normal now.

View from where I eat tacos

The gym

Watching Thomas

Civilization Successfully Flee-ed!

our footsteps....yes of course we are counting.

 The demand for the blog has never been this keen! Such is the fascination with the garden variety United airlines flight, not to mention a Caribbean jaunt, everyone is checking in daily! thank you Corona. (I guess) 

I have to get this down quickly, so no editing. 

Flight was normal, but with masks. Once you are on, you are on and it is weirdly ok. So don't fret if you have to go somewhere. The private flight was also good...although I had visions of champagne and tea sandwiches but all we had were vegan scones brought by heroic S and a mini, mini bottle of tequila I made Frederick get for me in case of turbulence. It was more like a New York taxi than something the Kardashians would fly. 

The pilot seemed to want to feel out Thomas about his politics, and mentioned he "couldn't vote for Biden because he was senile" Poor Thomas, these types always flock to him in the mistaken belief he is a secret German right winger with a hedge fund that makes money off of orphans. If they only knew he wept on the street in D.C. on July 4 listening to MLK's I have a dream speech. It was being played out of a lone man's car while traffic whizzed past and it was indescribibly poignant. A perfect Corona July 4. 

But alas, Thomas does tends to exude a vaguely bond villain vibe; and it is only worse when he is tan. 

Onward to the Aman! Short answer is the beach is one of the prettiest I have ever seen- it is sublime. Water is turquoise with perfect little waves to bob in. Staff is super kind, and while they didn't exactly graduate from Swiss hotel schools (forks are often on the wrong side, and wine is sort of plunked down then forgotten) BUT! they are utterly charming and because our little group represents 40 percent of the entire guest list, we get nice treatment. 

It is not like one forgets totally abut Corona; I woke up one night and started in with the usual worry, but during the day it is so beautiful and, frankly, hot; one cannot really worry for long. 

We went on a 3.5 hour nature hike in the jungle. It was supposed to be an hour and a a half, but S (F had a class and didn't come) is no ordinary nature walk attendee. Lol. Guide did not know what he was in for...but AP bio at Exeter and 18 years of fixation on all animal and plant things, has made her the single greatest Aman nature walk guest in history. I think he knew he was in for a good day when she asked him if he could please catch a snake for her to hold. He then proceeded to catch a crab, two snakes, and a gecko. Then he taught us how to find passion fruit and eat termites and build shelter out of palms we have dried. (spoiler: you need a machete).

 Coming home might not be necessary. 

Our room has this nice pool (below) and a rather enormous garden. Today we will eat grilled fish for lunch at the beach restaurant, then collapse (we played tennis at 9 am and the humidity was insane.) 

Ok Ill send more photos, later today, but let's get this up...more soon. 

Post beach walk guacamole and beer discovery. yay

Bitter Sweet Symphony

Deborah's genius and Ellie's determination in one box

For his 60th birthday, Bono published a list of "60 songs that saved my life." Some of his list was patently absurd. Could 'Killing me Softly with his Song' by the Fugees save a life? I hate to quibble, but the only plausible life saving song on his list was Bitter Sweet Symphony.

Javier came back (we suggested he start with three days a week) and it took him 8 hours to polish and shine the contents of exactly two rooms. We open the silver drawer now and gaze at the forks and knives. Such is our worship of the sight, we will eat with our hands for a while.

MMB is attracting a lot of hummingbirds to her "all you can drink- diabetes is also for birds" buffet
She seems to think it is a miracle that they come to her of all people; but she is offering a high sugar safe house on her deck. Tommy says she is affecting the ecosystem of the Richmond district and obese hummingbirds will lead, somehow, to saber tooth tigers roaming lake street.

In entertainment news, we had a little gathering with Amy R and family of San Francisco, CA in the garden. Deborah and I invented individual boxes of her food with plastic wrapped glasses and disposable forks and knives. I haven't decided if they are really cute, or kind of sad.

Then tonight MMB came for dinner and we were all a twitter. She had not eaten in the house for two and a half months; Javier set the table as if there were a small wedding, and Thomas put on his old tuxedo. Footwear was optional.

why did I ever blow dry (or cut) my hair? Am loving the aging hippy vibe. 

I am not certain, but I believe sometimes when I am watching the Office, Frederick's physics lectures are slowed. (I won't back down, so may the best man win). Amazingly, he let me eavesdrop on a zoom call he had with the professor for whom he is doing research (I had to sit on the bed out of sight) It was all I could do not to lean over his shoulder and invite the guy to stay with us. Can you imagine? All that black hole explaining in this house??!! Frederick is accusing me of having a crush on him, which is ridiculous, because I have never laid eyes on the man. But of course I do.

In many high density urban areas people come out and clap for the healthcare workers and firemen and Amazon deliver people. It is by far the best part of the whole Corona thing; but here on Pacific avenue, there is no clapping. It is not because we are against it, it's just that we have no leadership. Plus everyone is in the second house in Napa.

What if we put the youngest, fittest people in a stadiums and let them catch the Coronavirus but then made them stay in tent cities for three weeks after that? The tent cities could have hospitals in case people got sick. Some would die maybe but not many.
I am now fantasizing about things like that.

Both Thomas and I think our eyes have gotten worse during Corona. We also have slight allergies for the first time ever and the sniffling and scratchy throats make us think we have the virus. We go from storming the beaches bravery (and yes that will be the blog title if we get to Turks and Caicos), to Woody Allen level hypochondria.

In Athletic news- I took a one hour Bikram class, in- wait for it- the sauna! Seriously it felt like a victory. It was so very close to the real thing.

Why would anyone go back to high rises or gyms after this?
Why make Eloise leave her beautiful and amusing babies to go downtown or to the Silicon Valley? I know there is a connection between the world's obsession with the show The Office- it is the number one downloaded show of all time- and our recent illumination that not  working in an office, is not only possible but less absurd. Prepare thyselves for my Opus on this.

Things will change after we have peeked at a world without conference rooms and assigned parking, and maybe all that pretend stuff associated with work will disappear. Other fun things will come out of Corona- Donald Trump may dissolve into dust. People may begin to worship scientists; they might keep taking walks after dinner; might keep bringing their neighbors food and toilet paper for no reason. We might keep saying hello to strangers and drinking on our front steps.

I hope that once we are vaccinated or easily cured, we don't go back to rushing around not noticing each other. And as cliche as it is, as much death and misery as Corona has indeed unleashed, we will miss some of this. We will miss our bittersweet symphony.

Vikings fear no virus

Getting Drunk in your Underwear will work against most Plagues.

They should have Feynman posters in teenagers' bedrooms. 

It seems that Finland has overtaken Denmark as the happiest country on earth. Many of you may have heard of the Danish word Hygge, which translates (approximately) to 'cozy'- it is the word one uses when describing staying in, lighting candles, and drinking wine on a snowy evening.  I am not sure how happiness is measured, but Finland seems to have a lot of it. This appears to be due to their version of Hygge- or Kalsarikänni, which means "pants drunk." It is the moment when a man comes home, takes off any constricting clothing; and drinks beer in front of the television. A little less refined than the Danes perhaps; and more like the American version, "The Corona Shuffle".

Shelter at place week 4 and I have somehow gone down this rabbit hole of binge watching The Office. I won't tell you about the extent of my obsession, because you won't look at me the same way after. But let me assure anyone else out there struggling with a dirty, Covid created addiction, that she is not alone. And if that addiction should also be The Office re runs, may I share that there is also a podcast in which the person who plays Pam and the person who plays Angela (they are best friends in real life !!!) break down each and every episode. It gets so granular that they refer to things in terms of the exact time it happened: "At four minutes and two seconds we see Dwight's desk, and that photograph is of his actual niece." I am  telling you, it is not at all normal what I am doing. New levels of weird, people. New levels.

In other news, we have returned the vacuum cleaner to what Thomas calls its "rightful place" in the closet. Frederick and I tried to argue that if the vacuum cleaner were in the closet or behind the couch- it didn't matter, because it was hidden. Furthermore, the expression 'out of the closet' and 'out from behind the couch' could conceivably be interchangeable. So if a person wanted to announce he was gay, he could just as easily say he was 'coming out from behind the couch'. We are trying to make it a thing.

Before I really lost my mind and started to watch The Office, I had returned to my old favorite eras of history- those that saw the Bubonic plague. Few things are more comforting during Corona than reading a little Bubonic plague trivia. Did you know the Bubonic plague also came from the East? Hard to say exactly how many people died- One third the population of Europe? half the population of earth? Entire towns died out (can you imagine being the last to go?) Did you know it also had a short flare up here in San Francisco from 1900-1904? And keep in mind in 1906 we had the earthquake and fire that burned everything down. Fun family fact: MMB's great uncle whose initial donation to the University of California Berkeley is still today churning out millions of dollars for scholarships, wrote a law relating to property rights after the fire burned down all the records. Anyway, the Bubonic plague was so much deadlier, so much more contagious and don't forget a much uglier way to go ( a girl doesn't need large black pustules) than this Corona thing. My point being of course, San Francisco has had worse times. So as that meme says- other generations were called upon to war, we are called upon to sit on our couch (watching the Office). By these standards I should get a purple heart.

Finally, we heard such a cool podcast on one of our longer strolls: one that featured a few words by none other than Richard Feynman of Caltech. Feynman was an absolute rock star even before he won the Nobel prize: good looking and very cool. The reporter who researched him said she envisions him walking around when he first arrived at Caltech, hair blowing in the wind; the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever playing in the background: John Travolta with chalk in his hand.

Caltech told him he had to revamp freshman physics 101, because so few people were choosing to study physics. They said he only had to do it for one year, but he needed to jazz it up because it was thought to be so boring. On the podcast, they played a few minutes of his very first lecture where he in essence threw out the rule book and started with a question:

If, in some cataclysm, all of scientific knowledge were to be destroyed, and only one sentence passed on to the next generations of creatures, what statement would contain the most information in the fewest words? I believe it is the atomic hypothesis (or the atomic fact, or whatever you wish to call it) that all things are made of atoms—little particles that move around in perpetual motion, attracting each other when they are a little distance apart, but repelling upon being squeezed into one another. In that one sentence, you will see, there is an enormous amount of information about the world, if just a little imagination and thinking are applied.

So to translate: from the knowledge of perpetual motion we got to steam engines, rockets, cars, tea kettles, and hot tubs; the attracting and repelling part gave us phones, radios, light bulbs etc. Basically every single thing on the planet, every single thing- is made of Jiggliing atoms, and their behavior is the key to almost every cool thing we humans ever did.
You can see why this man was married multiple times. I mean this is Mick Jagger panty throwing potential.

Speaking of Mick Jagger,  the Atomic fact, as awesome as it is, doesn't explain some important things- like music or love. Yesterday I heard a talking head say he turns on the Rolling Stones now during Trumps little temper tantrums/press conferences. Why hadn't I thought of this??? The Rolling Stones, at the right decibel are the cross to Trump's vampire. If anyone can snuff out that much stupid, it is the genius and joy of the Rolling Stones. I have had some intense and lovely Corona moments lately with friends reaching out to tell me they are glad we are walking each other home in this life. And then I listened to Let it Bleed; and I started to cry. Because I love my toaster, and the beautiful atomic hypothesis behind it, but I also love the inexplicable - like the perfection of that song.
"We all need someone to lean on...and if you want it, well you can lean on me. ..." 
Crank it people.

Arranging flowers on the Titanic/Scenes from a Quarantine in a Blue State

San Francisco quarantine essentials

Last night the doorbell rang and it was a woman holding a bag with one potato. Apparently instead of a bag of potatoes, I had ordered one. This was especially ridiculous because it was the second insta-cart delivery that day, so definitely the most expensive potato ever. In case we needed more proof of incompetence, peninou -the fancy dry cleaners that we use- delivered an elegantly wrapped paper package which contained a very old washcloth. Somehow that had gotten in with the linens, and it is still stained. We have ants, the dog has been stress eating with an emergency house visit from the vet; and there is sand in my bathtub that I can't seem to chase down the drain.  Frederick and I made a secret pact to keep the vacuum cleaner behind the sofa so we don't have to lug it up from its home in the laundry room every other day. We knew this kind of corner cutting would upset Deutschland, so we kept it secret for a few days, but I couldn't bear the burden anymore, so I told him.  As predicted, he reacted with all sorts of emphatic pronouncements. 

I am ordering food all the time, with little organization, but with the standards of the latest Danish celebrity chef. If I think I need a Vidalia onion for a recipe, then no other onion will do. But the good news is I now, after Coronavirus, know how to spell vacuum. two Us!!?

My ordering reflects other strange priorities- flowers for example. I had Javier order Costco hydrangeas from his bunker,  (they deliver!) and then because they only send this enormous amount, had to spend all this time arranging them. After I got a lovely note from our neighbors about seeing Frederick and how nice he blah was, and how much they love sitting at breakfast looking at our reflecting fountain, I promised her I would put floating candles in there at night. When the Amazon truck came, Thomas had to ask. He could deal with the potato, but this didn't look edible.
"what is that?"
"floating candles"
"why did you order floating candles?" Not that he was sure he wanted to know the answer, but what the hell it's quarantine.
"It's for the neighbors to look at."
He then told me if I didn't write about it in the blog, then it wasn't an honest blog.

Party is used loosely here but in the new definition I have had a few already- mostly in the driveway. I have big plans to have Tommy graduate to the backyard with his banjo, Easter will be quiche on Mom's steps; and we attended Chris N's  50th birthday gala complete with a song from Tom. I lived on the edge and took caviar from Simone hands.  If I end up in the ICU, it will have been worth it.

In any case, in these dark times, my priorities have come clearly into focus: flowers and candles and fake parties with real caviar. What has gone by the wayside is apparently my appearance. Below are selfies of actual things I was wearing for a good part of the day last week. Before I took the selfies, I hadn't noticed anything amiss.

In the hope of coming out of this with a few brain in cells left, I decided we might as well learn something while we watched all this T.V.  Enter Thomas' choice: the 12 part mini series on Vietnam, because nothing is more relaxing after a day of listening to Jarad Kushner's plans for CoronaVirus  than brushing up on the whole Nam thing.

I have more of course to say, but am so tired, so must feed dog, then bathe self. OH! and of course get ready for The Podcast in which Frederick tells Mimi and me "One thing you need to know" and we translate it to Kate and Brooke and perhaps even baby George (what can I say, he is very advanced).

coat, cowboy hat, slippers; dirty leggings. 

coat over Chinese silk bathrobe; high top slippers

Love my town...kids this is a reference to a band

Frederick approaches cake baking like the budding asteroid hunter he is

I thought quarantining would be more relaxing....

I don't think Thomas and I are doing this thing right. One gets the impression that everyone else is doing puzzles and learning Finnish while we are slogging away trying to keep the fund afloat, but with no house help. My sexy artist friend called her housekeeper and asked "If I were a vacuum cleaner, where would I be?" lol. Groceries take all this planning now and I feel like some sort of frontier woman (I am two days away from having to beat the carpets). But one of the biggest time suckers is the fact that I am on (Lord help me) multiple group texts from women in the "50 something with money and lots of time for candles and chanting" demographic. Some are very good at sending a group text; alas, some are not. I received one today that was supposedly a missive from Bill Gates (which I doubt). On and on it went as I stroked my phone to the end, where he listed 14 things the Coronavirus was trying to teach us. Included were gems like: we can be patient or we can panic; or this can be an end, or a new beginning.  Now while Eloise is getting tips from her friends like "how to fake home schooling with nothing more than an ipad and some chocolate", or "reducing the noise from your blender while on a conference call"; I am getting: A Heartfelt Letter from Covid 19 to humans. Who would open mail from Covid-19!
And as if the poems and quotes were not enough, each and every woman has to thank each and every woman for her wise words. Heart emoji; Prayer emoji.

Let me correct "Bill Gates" or any other person now in the lotus position if I may. There is only one thing the Coronavirus is teaching us and that is that competence matters. The better the government response to the initial threat, the lower Ellie's inconvenience (the E.I. quotient). Seriously,  five summer interns with hangovers at Mckinsey would have stopped this thing quicker.  I know Americans think everything only happens here, but it is in fact happening everywhere-and here is the important part: just not to the same degree. In Taiwan, they are going to work and restaurants. Yes, they have people in hazmat suits taking everyone's temperature as they come and go, but that is it.
Knowledge matters! Competence matters! Truth matters!
(Prayer emoji. High five emoji.)

Ok now that I have ranted, I can give a party report. We had the first of what I hope will be many driveway cocktail parties, in which Tommy comes and sits outside his car, with drinks and potato chips placed by the planter.

Also in the good news column: Chico is home! Had to go through San Diego and came out practically licking the handle of the baggage trolly, but he seems happy and healthy. He pointed out he hasn't lived at home since he was 13 and this all seems delightful. We reminded him the magic around here was somewhat dimmer without Le Javier...but he is unfazed.
The other night I went to get water at 3 a.m. (must hydrate during the apocalypse) and saw that Frederick's light was still on. I asked him what was up. Oh he said, I lost track of time watching this thing on the giant squids of the deep ocean. Somehow that gives me hope.

As many of you know, I believe that when picking a life partner, one should ask what would this person be like in a life raft? Are they facile with rubber boat design? Can they fish or row? Would they share the sun block and the last of the gummi bears? Could they make you laugh as you bobbed in the lonely sea? Thomas is obviously a world class candidate in many of those categories (which is why I looked past the ridiculous sweater below). Our boat would be in excellent shape, there would be fish organized by genus and he would stand over me to protect me from the sun. I can't imagine him cracking any jokes; but he has a more important quality, and that is he laughs at all of mine  (the only life raft skill I can offer).  This period of time we are in now is separating the A level life rafters from the herd, and to mark this, I have been handing out life boat grades. Last week I was the undisputed champion: baking metaphorical cakes,  emailing actual Canadian scientists, telling jokes all day. Then I experimented with a new brand of high alcohol cider and came to the edge of a very dark place imagining a world where this was all we could do or have.  Luckily Frederick has been on a tear: cheerfully doing more chores than I have ever seen a person do, including detailing my car (I paid him for that one). The rest of the time he is looking for a place that will teach him what spherical harmonics is, or brushing up on the life span of the giant squid. He goes in the raft for sure.

A few other A plus life rafters have shown themselves this week. Laura P sends really beautiful poems and quotes and our masseur buddy sends the funniest things I have seen...I have to laugh even if I planned on not laughing that day.  And Margaret G ! Such a towering example of calm even though she is in Milan- offering no complaints, and patiently listening to all of mine. Then she sent me some old photos from business school (apparently she has finished her Finnish and is now organizing her photographs.) 
Ahh the good old days of doing nothing, but thinking you were doing a lot of incredibly important things. 

My favorite is the one of us at graduation- with Pop peeking through. (Broken Heart emoji. )

La Quarantena, Day Uno

As you probably already know, the word 'quarantine' has its origins in Venetian dialect, and relates to the forty days of isolation ships and people had to observe during the plague.  Like so many of the best words: la catastrophe and la peste in French; as well as 'bowel cancer' in Hungarian; la quarantena is feminine.

So here we are trying desperately to flatten the curve and avoid killing the elderly.  I'm game. I am however a bit nervous giving up so much of what I love. Thomas said Javier had to stay home and no mariachi bands have masks that fit over the trumpets; so we are on our own.  I overheard one man saying that when the kids came home from college, he was going to take them camping and tell them that "he and mommy were now taking edibles" but he would appreciate no judgement.

It is rather interesting how T is reacting to our diminished circumstances. If you think about it, a quarantine is a once in a life time dream for introverts- like burning man if burning man came once a century.  While I am having all this anxiety about being separated from humans- counting on my fingers all the things I cannot do: group exercise, and acupuncture and eating in a restaurant and kissing, Thomas is pretending to be the face of sad stoicism; but he is psyched. He actually said he was "really looking forward to being alone with me for three weeks". LOL!! Do we not spend enough time together already? (I am laughing as I write this).  He still gets everything he loves- me, exercise and unlimited Bloomberg charts. Throw in a few saunas and TV in the middle of the day, and you can see why he hopes this goes on forever.

Before this started, I called Amy and said she needed to get over here because I haven't seen them in so long. I proposed that we sit outside where we would be safe from germs, and said I would finally buy a fire pit (you all know my obsession with wood fires). And then slam...we get shut down. So I told Thomas that either he bought one or I would, and he would not be happy with my choice.  So he researches, and of course the best ones are in Italy, and in about four quarantenas, it should arrive.

But feast your eyes on the one we chose above. When this nightmare is over, believe me- we shall burn all the wood we want, and we will dance around the fire like the pagan goddesses we are.
You have my word.

NEW SEGMENT!
Most amusing things heard during Ellie's quarantine.

KMH brief but distinct loss of language when I told her Gladys would have to go home too.
KMH trying to think of something fun to do that was allowed, and came up with the idea of going to the dentist.
Brooke C telling her father when he came home from Australia that "she had Coronavirus and it did not look good." Before her sister said "Ahh we are going to need to confirm that."
F landed his little research project with the astro physicist in dad socks, and was told by said physicist that he should get comfortable with "spherical harmonics". Thomas has never heard of it, so we are in weird waters now honey.

Living with Corona

The New York Times' podcast is now (God how I love them) producing a podcast of comfort: things that are making the staff feel better in these weird times.  One person read from a cookbook about how to store food (looking at you Amy R), and another read an excerpt from C.S. Lewis's essay Living in an Atomic Age.  Lewis wrote it in 1948 or so, at the time of peak fear of atomic bombs.
We need to perhaps skip the dart playing for a while, but he has the right idea. Anyway, I loved it so much I have printed it below.

Me? I am getting massages and giving money away to people who ask. Then I douse my skin with mud masks and my insides with a little vodka. So far so good.


"In one way we think a great deal too much of the atomic bomb. “How are we to live in an atomic age?” I am tempted to reply: “Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat any night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents.”

In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation. Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were already sentenced to death before the atomic bomb was invented: and quite a high percentage of us were going to die in unpleasant ways. We had, indeed, one very great advantage over our ancestors—anesthetics; but we have that still. It is perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces because the scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to a world which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself was not a chance at all, but a certainty.

This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds."

“On Living in an Atomic Age” (1948) in Present Concerns: Journalistic Essays

Elephant Seals Don't Watch the News

We have returned from a surprisingly restful weekend. I decided to organize a hookey day last Friday and head to see the elephant seals at Año Nuevo State Park- a place we had never been; I can report it was a good idea.  The plan was to take the seal tour on Friday, and then head down to Pebble Beach for the weekend. Sellies came along, because they had never been either.

So it seems that our California shores are the place that from November to March elephant seals come to give birth, sleep, then get pregnant again before heading out to swim and eat for the next 8  months. The orgy/birthing party seems fun- lots of sleeping and elephant seal love; with the result being many of these adorable blobs of sleeping fat that are the babies. The guide, a sensitive type with Cal Bears and Grateful Dead pins on his ranger hat, warned us that there would be sad parts on the walk- death and desertion to name a few. Indeed the life of a seal is not for the faint of heart- mother and child are united only 28 days after birth, and in that time, the little one has to fatten up and learn to swim. Then the mother gets pregnant again and swims out to travel up and around, far away, deep and wide, gorging herself; only to return to do the same thing again.

Feast your eyes on some elephant seal ....we’ll call it dating. Apparently this female is not in the mood, but the male (who looks suspiciously like Harvey Weinstein) isn’t listening. I will spare you the other video that shows how, after striking out with the mother, “Harvey” tries to romance the baby. This is apparently a thing with elephant seals- bless their hearts- and it is one of the reasons the pups only have a fifty percent survival rate. (you don't want an amorous 5, 000 pound elephant seal turning his lonely eyes to you when you are a. a baby and b. his child. )
We were instructed to keep quiet, but it was all I could do to not throw something at the thing.



Now that things have gone truly, madly weird and we are losing money every time Trump opens his mouth, Frederick is being sent home as Chicago closes, we are cancelling Jackson Hole and avoiding hugging and standing in crowds; now that we are at that point, there must be a concerted effort from you people to find the silver lining. Send in ideas because I need them.

Blogs Don't Get Quarantined (and other good news...)

I had been having a lot of dreams about the ocean, and a friend (our massage therapist, who doubles as a therapist therapist because this is California) said it was all good news- lots of money and chocolate coming my way. When I told him that was not what I read on the YOUR DREAMS ANALYZED website; that wild oceans and humans in an aquarium were perhaps more ominous snapshots of my psyche, he said, "yea that's right. Big changes ahead, I just didn't want to be a downer."

Enter coronavirus, market volatility, Mike Pence at the helm.
It makes a girl want to swim out and stay out.

Luckily no viruses can spread between the blog nation, so pull up a chair and feel free to cough where ever you please.

Bruce sent me something from a doctor who seems slightly paranoid, but see below. (Forgive me if he already sent it to you.)  I don't think it is such a bad idea to get what is on the list.
The good news is the Corona virus spreads quickly because it doesn't kill people quickly. So yay. (?)

Someone asked for a Chicago update and all seems good. Frederick interviewed for a research position with an astrophysics professor who had no shoes on, and his feet up. He was, apparently, wearing "dad socks". Of course F doesn't have a lot to offer this man who was on a Nobel prize winning team, but he was very kind and said he could probably scare up something for Chico to do. First he wanted to send him some papers on the topic he was working on and Frederick called me and read this sentence:

In the Standard cosmological model, initial conditions are set by a combination of a uniform inflationary background spacetime, and perturbations from fluctuations of a quantum field vacuum matched to linearized gravity. 

Then, after a short silence, F said simply "I don't know what that means." lol
But it seems he is on his way to studying what he has always loved- the space way above.

OK here is what we are to do, and then- and this is the important part: We go enjoy life. Wash your hands then go dancing. Also after you read it and need a pick me up, review the video of Lindsay J's daughter's horse and dog (a Parson Russell of course) nuzzling. It will help


Dear Family and Friends, as some of you may recall, when I was a professor of pathology at the University of California San Diego, I was one of the first molecular virologists in the world to work on coronaviruses (the 1970s). I was the first to demonstrate the number of genes the virus contained. Since then, I have kept up with the coronavirus field and its multiple clinical transfers into the human population (e.g., SARS, MERS), from different animal sources.

The current projections for its expansion in the US are only probable, due to continued insufficient worldwide data, but it is most likely to be widespread by mid to late March and April.
Here is what I have done and the precautions that I take and will take. These are the same precautions I currently use during our influenza seasons, except for the mask and gloves.:
1) NO HANDSHAKING! Use a fist bump, slight bow, elbow bump, etc.
2) Use ONLY your knuckle to touch light switches. elevator buttons, etc.. Lift the gasoline dispenser with a paper towel or use a disposable glove.
3) Open doors with your closed fist or hip - do not grasp the handle with your hand, unless there is no other way to open the door. Especially important on bathroom and post office/commercial doors.
4) Use disinfectant wipes at the stores when they are available, including wiping the handle and child seat in grocery carts.
5) Wash your hands with soap for 10-20 seconds and/or use a greater than 60% alcohol-based hand sanitizer whenever you return home from ANY activity that involves locations where other people have been.
6) Keep a bottle of sanitizer available at each of your home's entrances. AND in your car for use after getting gas or touching other contaminated objects when you can't immediately wash your hands.
7) If possible, cough or sneeze into a disposable tissue and discard. Use your elbow only if you have to. The clothing on your elbow will contain an infectious virus
If possible, cough or sneeze into a disposable tissue and discard. Use your elbow only if you have to. The clothing on your elbow will contain an infectious virus that can be passed on for up to a week or more!

What I have stocked in preparation for the pandemic spread to the US:
1) Latex or nitrile latex disposable gloves for use when going shopping, using the gasoline pump, and all other outside activity when you come in contact with contaminated areas.
Note: This virus is spread in large droplets by coughing and sneezing. This means that the air will not infect you! BUT all the surfaces where these droplets land is infectious for about a week on average - everything that is associated with infected people will be contaminated and potentially infectious. The virus is on surfaces and you will not be infected unless your unprotected face is directly coughed or sneezed upon. This virus only has cell receptors for lung cells (it only infects your lungs). The only way for the virus to infect you is through your nose or mouth via your hands or an infected cough or sneeze onto or into your nose or mouth.
2) Stock up now with disposable surgical masks and use them to prevent you from touching your nose and/or mouth (We touch our nose/mouth 90X/day without knowing it!). This is the only way this virus can infect you - it is lung-specific. The mask will not prevent the virus in a direct sneeze from getting into your nose or mouth - it is only to keep you from touching your nose or mouth.
3) Stock up now with hand sanitizers and latex/nitrile gloves (get the appropriate sizes for your family). The hand sanitizers must be alcohol-based and greater than 60% alcohol to be effective.
4) Stock up now with zinc lozenges. These lozenges have been proven to be effective in blocking coronavirus (and most other viruses) from multiplying in your throat and nasopharynx. Use as directed several times each day when you begin to feel ANY "cold-like" symptoms beginning. It is best to lie down and let the lozenge dissolve in the back of your throat and nasopharynx. Cold-Eeze lozenges is one brand available, but there are other brands available.
I, as many others do, hope that this pandemic will be reasonably contained, BUT I personally do not think it will be. Humans have never seen this snake-associated virus before and have no internal defense against it. Tremendous worldwide efforts are being made to understand the molecular and clinical virology of this virus. Unbelievable molecular knowledge about the genomics, structure, and virulence of this virus has already been achieved. BUT, there will be NO drugs or vaccines available this year to protect us or limit the infection within us. Only symptomatic support is available.
I hope these personal thoughts will be helpful during this potentially catastrophic pandemic. Good luck to all of us,
James Robb, MD FCAP

xxx

Calling a few honest men ....

I told Thomas that I was having romantic feelings towards this man. He was the house impeachment lawyer and he is kinky- into rule of law and justice and weeeeeird things like that. I love him and Thomas says it’s ok. Check him out...

PS yes that is a Fig Newton wrapper next to the wine. Now you know how grim things are.

Nessun Dorma

None shall sleep,
None shall sleep!
Even you, oh Princess,

Vanish Oh Night....

Fade, stars! Fade, stars!
At dawn, I will win
I will win
I will win 

Puccini's Turandot

The documentary on Pavarotti was playing on the plane coming home from Chicago- highly enjoyable. You fall completely in love- with him, with opera, with pasta, with everything.

Anyway, this song has been playing in my head since my return.. the perfect background music as I paw my little blanket waiting for a remotely Christian time to get up. At 4 a.m. I allow myself tea; coffee not until 5. Thank God for my trusty four legged side kick who will rise with me no matter the time.

Thomas and I have a fantasy that someday we will forgo adjusting to local time. When we arrive somewhere, we will simply rise and sleep and eat as we wish without looking at the clock or the dark sky to dictate our movements. And then we will be happy.

Below a few final photos including one of me and the Queen on our last night. She was sharing health tips that included (thank ya Jesus) a stiff shot of whiskey immediately before bed. She swears this is the secret to a long life, and being nothing if not pro long life, I asked her for details.

She ran back and forth to the kitchen several times to produce the exact size glass, then explained I needed to belt one just before sleep. She clarified this would have no bearing on wine at dinner..of course that was also ok, and she added my favorite part: to make absolutely sure that one did not forget this life saving nectar, one needed to put the bottle right next to the bed.


check and check.

London

on Queen Mary

Feeling sentimental about ol Lech and her people after all some old photos came up on my feed. Luis has been with us on so many trips!

with Harumi

Don't forget to keep the bottle by the bed

New Year's ice cream

Dynamic Duo 

This group broke the record for the most Topfenpalatschinken ever ordered on room service.